Love the Lord your God with all your heart ?

[SteveII]

You're expected also to live in constant fear of this being while loving it and singing its praises. It's the kind of love you have for the local tyrannical dictator; adoration by ultimatum.

This resonates with me, as someone who was raised by a very violent and abusive Mother.  I was required to call her "Ma'am", kiss her goodnight, and say "I love you".  Of course, I knew that if I didn't, I would get my head put through the nearest wall.  Did I want her to love me?  Oh yes.  And I desperately wanted to not have to be afraid anymore.  That never happened.
     It strikes me as much the same with the god concept.  Sure, you're supposed to praise because you have been "saved" from the ultimate eternal torture.  (Similar to "Yay, she didn't hit me today.")  But there is this constant message of being born FILTHY and sinful, the constant fear of being truly unworthy and disobedient, and the constant begging for forgiveness and promises to do better.

You're worthless, the only thing that makes you not worthless is ME, and you if you don't obey me every second I may have to torture you forever no matter what you say. 

It also sounds a lot like an abusive husband.  

I am sorry for your childhood experiences. That is a sad way to grow up. 
I can see why you think that is what Christianity is about. However it is not.
We are in a state that we cannot have a relationship with God. That state can, if left unchanged forever separate us from God. However, the entire NT is about how you can repair that relationship. Once you have that relationship, like any other, it takes choices every day that keep that relationship in good repair. The Christians I know do not come close to thinking like you described. They want that relationship to succeed because it brings peace and joy. The motivation to become a Christian is not fear, it is the relationship and the repair that is desired. As you pointed out, a relationship based on fear is miserable. 
Here was a quick list I saw when I searched for Bible/Joy: http://dailyverses.net/joy