Why do you actually believe in God?

[Angrboda]

I also find that many atheists will simply not face up to their absurdism or nihilism. I do not know why. When I was an atheist I embraced both. To my mind, that is the only intellectually honest stance for an atheist. I would not fault them for taking that stance, but I do fault them for denying the logical conclusions of their lack of belief. They cannot claim the high ground of rationality while denying the power of reason and how the secrets of the world yield to it.

That you cannot see reason without God leading to anything but nihilism and absurdism is a limitation in your vision, not an absolute statement of reality. It might explain why you're a theist. Reason is a tool and like any tool, there are limits to its application. I feel Aquinas overstepped those limits, but I have yet to hear the previously promised explanation of how he gets from the supposed conclusions of his arguments to, "...this everyone knows as God." Regardless, that you can see nothing but absurdity and nihilism in a world without God doesn't mean that's the way the world is.