9-11, give me a break.

[Crossless2.0]

Yes, this is getting ridiculous, and perhaps it's time I put a stop to it.

It was me. I brought down the buildings.

I also delivered Obama in Kenya. And I was the photographer for the Apollo moon landing hoax.

Why'd it take you three shots to get Kennedy? Ray Charles could have hit the bastard right as he was turning in front of the TSBD.

Wasn't me. My handler presented the wrong playing card that day, so instead of being in Dallas, as I was supposed to, I ended up playing poker with a group of drunken transvestites in New Orleans. Confusing times.

I'm especially irritated with Oliver Stone. I should have merited a small character role in "JFK".