RE: The Super-Meaning of Romantic Relationships
September 22, 2016 at 6:33 pm
(This post was last modified: September 22, 2016 at 6:35 pm by bennyboy.)
The meaning of relationships is that your brain rewards you for gradual approximation to a successful sexual (read: reproductive) relationship. Even if you don't want to reproduce or can't (i.e. if you're gay), I think that holds true on an instinct level. So if you see signs that someone is developing a committed bond to you, if you get sex, if someone acts to take care of you, etc., you probably feel a great deal of pleasure and validation.
In my experience, NOTHING could make me feel better than an attractive or otherwise charming girl noticing me, taking an interest in me, and being willing to take a chance on spending time with me. And that pleasure started with as little as a hair-flip or a blush. My brain was saying: "Holy shit, this cute and charming girl LIKES you! Dude, you have this effect on this person. You are SOMEBODY to her, you are not invisible."
That's the meaning, to me. Participation in romance makes me feel validated. It adds a sense of worth to me, and that's a powerful and important thing (for me).
Post-text: Strangely, while I love sex, and playful relationships, and tender care FROM a girl, I don't much like spending too much time with a romantic-minded girl. They act dumb, the way they act annoys me, they always need a lot of maintenance and reassurance. Even my wife, who is an intelligent and confident woman, if I give her some flowers or something goes "Gurle gurle durrrr." Then I have to hold hands, walk on the beach, and otherwise not play League of Legends or watch porn: very inconvenient!
In my experience, NOTHING could make me feel better than an attractive or otherwise charming girl noticing me, taking an interest in me, and being willing to take a chance on spending time with me. And that pleasure started with as little as a hair-flip or a blush. My brain was saying: "Holy shit, this cute and charming girl LIKES you! Dude, you have this effect on this person. You are SOMEBODY to her, you are not invisible."
That's the meaning, to me. Participation in romance makes me feel validated. It adds a sense of worth to me, and that's a powerful and important thing (for me).
Post-text: Strangely, while I love sex, and playful relationships, and tender care FROM a girl, I don't much like spending too much time with a romantic-minded girl. They act dumb, the way they act annoys me, they always need a lot of maintenance and reassurance. Even my wife, who is an intelligent and confident woman, if I give her some flowers or something goes "Gurle gurle durrrr." Then I have to hold hands, walk on the beach, and otherwise not play League of Legends or watch porn: very inconvenient!
