How the fuck is there a statute of limitations for rape in New York?

[LadyForCamus]

bold MINE:

But it's not like it "never happened" for the victim.  That's my entire point.  It's like you have a blind spot for empathy.  Look, I understand what you're saying:  telling a woman that it will essentially be like her assault never happened in the eyes of the law if she fails to report it within the SOL set by her state.  A motivator.  I see that.  But, I don't get why you think that a simple acknowledgment of someone's pain is encouraging them to hold a victim mentality.  It seems like, to you, saying "I'm sorry that you were hurt" is as offensive as taking the lord's name in vain.

Because I am not a believer in perpetual victim hood. There is a time to mourn and a time to grieve, which again is ultimately up to the victim to set a limit on, but approaching the 5 year mark/SOL someone needs a push or kick in the pants IF they are ever to be anything more than a perpetual victim.

Which again is fine if that is what they need to do. However forever victims also need to know the rest of the world is going to move on with or without them. That is where the reality of  what I said comes in. The Law/Justice will turn a blind eye to you and the terrible thing that happened, if you do not act. What I said is a kind of focused litmus test. If what I said bring out the acid then you know something inside you does not want to be a victim forever then that means you must act/My comment becomes a call to arms. If you roll over into yourself and have to 'relive' everything again then you know you want to be a forever victim.. If that is the case then in a sick way what I said only furthers that person's end goal.

Look at the response everyone gave when I acted harshly.. A virtual pity parade was thrown, if it's been 15/20 since the act, then all the fussing and 'nurturing' that went on was well received.

Again I know the pain. I also know the sickness that one creates for themselves being or thinking of themselves as a victim, and I am well aware of what needs to happen inorder for that cycle to be broken.

I disagree that a "virtual pity party" took place. And you brought "acid" out of a lot of people. Regardless of whether or not they have been victims, or if they have been victimized and DID report it. (Read: me).

Acknowledging that someone was harmed...feeling bad that someone harmed them either because you are capable of imagining what that experience must have been like, or because you know first hand what it's like, is NOT encouraging victim hood. It's just...being human.

Scenario: A woman is raped in her 20's, she reports it, and the rapist is convicted. The woman deals with the trauma in an emotionally healthy way, and gets on with her life. 10 years later she confides in her fiancé about the assault. He feels awful; sad that she was harmed, and angry that someone harmed her. She reassures him that she is fully recovered from the experience and the man is in jail. The assault has no significant, lasting negative impact on her as an individual, or on their relationship. How is his empathy altering how she perceives herself in ANY way? His personal feelings about what happened to her are his. I don't know why on earth you would condemn such feelings.

"Empathy perpetuates self-ascribed victim status" is a non-sequitur, Drich.