How the fuck is there a statute of limitations for rape in New York?

[LadyForCamus]

I disagree that a "virtual pity party" took place.  And you brought "acid" out of a lot of people.  Regardless of whether or not they have been victims, or if they have been victimized and DID report it.  (Read: me).  

Acknowledging that someone was harmed...feeling bad that someone harmed them either because you are capable of imagining what that experience must have been like, or because you know first hand what it's like, is NOT encouraging victim hood.  It's just...being human.  

Scenario: A woman is raped in her 20's, she reports it, and the rapist is convicted.  The woman deals with the trauma in an emotionally healthy way, and gets on with her life.  10 years later she confides in her fiancé about the assault.  He feels awful; sad that she was harmed, and angry that someone harmed her.  She reassures him that she is fully recovered from the experience and the man is in jail.  The assault has no significant, lasting negative impact on her as an individual, or on their relationship.  How is his empathy altering how she perceives herself in ANY way?   His personal feelings about what happened to her are his.  I don't know why on earth you would condemn such feelings.

"Empathy perpetuates self-ascribed victim status" is a non-sequitur, Drich.

Your senario is not what happened.

In your senario the woman has indeed dealt with the issue and recovered to the point where she is consoleing her partner.

This is not what happened here.

I opened with a motivating statement.

Then i got a story of a rape that happened once 15 years ago that was not reported, but was being used to solidify a counter argument.. Maybe I'm just too sensitive or too emotional to imagine someone so shamed or scared into silence bring up such a topic just to win an argument with strangers...

This had the opposite effect on me i did not feel empathy I felt a need to vet or challenge the statement. Then we get a response of having to be made to relive all of this 'it's like being raped all over again yada yada yada...

Which again IS THE TOTAL OPPOSITE of your scenario. If she was in place of seeking recovery, then 15 years is past the point of mourning. UNLESS she is seeking to be a perminate victim. which I pointed out in my initial dialog.

Her mourning "being made to relive the rape" does not an indication of any effort of recovery 15 years down the road. However it does indeed show an effort to maintain perpetual victimhood, in which case demand pity and forces people to honor them for their misfortune.

I'm not doing that. I honestly think no one who has gone through this type of recovery will ever want to feed a perpetual victim pity, unless it is just some empty meaningless gesture to get away from them. To see a perpetual victim is a reminder of what could have been if we did not endure the suck.

That is the difference you are not taking into consideration. You want to see the best and take people at their word. I see a list of inconsistencies that need to be accounted for. I want other people to see this list as well.

I'm sorry; I wasn't comparing my scenario to the specific situation that happened in this thread with you and Nymph. I was using it as a comparison to your more generalized allegations throughout the thread that empathy and sympathy for victims perpetuate a "victim mentality."

I DO want to think the best and take people at their word, you're right. It's something that I do to a fault, in fact. But that doesn't mean as a human being I should feel I'm doing a disservice to somebody by feeling compassion for them.