I suppose it depends on the church. I assume we're not talking about a "modern" church with the boring drywall halls where most of the church doesn't look any different than any other public building.
So let's assume we're talking about a smaller, ornate church with a small entryway leading to a large open area for "worship", with maybe a side area or two and a basement, but no boring halls. The original denomination might also be a factor, if I was feeling like an ass when I decided what to do with it. For instance, if it were originally a Pentecostal church I might turn it into a dance hall as a way of being blasphemous without "normal" people seeing it as such. If it were southern Pentecostal, maybe a poison control center. You know, for when they need a poison control center on Sunday morning because the snake-handling freaks got bitten again and realized prayer wasn't working as the seizures started.
Realistically, though, I always thought it would be cool to turn one into a home. Add a second story (maybe just "half" a second story so as you enter and look up you see the balcony with bedrooms off from it) and leave the bottom part open for parties and such. Remove the pews, turn the area behind the pulpit into a stage for DJs and such, add a permanent light show. Probably have to level the floor as I believe many slant down slightly toward the pulpit, which is then raised on a "stage". Maybe even add a bar on the stage off to one side of the pulpit and turn the altar into bar seating. Supplemented by additional stools, of course. The altar isn't usually large enough to seat people along half the stage.
I think I'd try to leave the pulpit in somehow, but being front-and-center would make the show kind of difficult to see. Ooh, if the floor is slanted you could rip the pulpit out, rip out the windows in the back, add exterior electrically controlled shutters to the side windows and turn it into a theater. A little hydraulic action on the floor and it could easily convert back and forth from theater to party place. That's getting a little silly with my money, but it would kick ass!
So let's assume we're talking about a smaller, ornate church with a small entryway leading to a large open area for "worship", with maybe a side area or two and a basement, but no boring halls. The original denomination might also be a factor, if I was feeling like an ass when I decided what to do with it. For instance, if it were originally a Pentecostal church I might turn it into a dance hall as a way of being blasphemous without "normal" people seeing it as such. If it were southern Pentecostal, maybe a poison control center. You know, for when they need a poison control center on Sunday morning because the snake-handling freaks got bitten again and realized prayer wasn't working as the seizures started.
Realistically, though, I always thought it would be cool to turn one into a home. Add a second story (maybe just "half" a second story so as you enter and look up you see the balcony with bedrooms off from it) and leave the bottom part open for parties and such. Remove the pews, turn the area behind the pulpit into a stage for DJs and such, add a permanent light show. Probably have to level the floor as I believe many slant down slightly toward the pulpit, which is then raised on a "stage". Maybe even add a bar on the stage off to one side of the pulpit and turn the altar into bar seating. Supplemented by additional stools, of course. The altar isn't usually large enough to seat people along half the stage.
I think I'd try to leave the pulpit in somehow, but being front-and-center would make the show kind of difficult to see. Ooh, if the floor is slanted you could rip the pulpit out, rip out the windows in the back, add exterior electrically controlled shutters to the side windows and turn it into a theater. A little hydraulic action on the floor and it could easily convert back and forth from theater to party place. That's getting a little silly with my money, but it would kick ass!
Have you ever noticed all the drug commercials on TV lately? Why is it the side effects never include penile enlargement or super powers?
Side effects may include super powers or enlarged penis which may become permanent with continued use. Stop taking Killatol immediately and consult your doctor if you experience penis enlargement of more than 3 inches, laser vision, superhuman strength, invulnerability, the ability to explode heads with your mind or time travel. Killatoll is not for everyone, especially those who already have convertibles or vehicles of ridiculous size to supplement penis size.
Side effects may include super powers or enlarged penis which may become permanent with continued use. Stop taking Killatol immediately and consult your doctor if you experience penis enlargement of more than 3 inches, laser vision, superhuman strength, invulnerability, the ability to explode heads with your mind or time travel. Killatoll is not for everyone, especially those who already have convertibles or vehicles of ridiculous size to supplement penis size.
