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June 11, 2011 at 3:52 pm (This post was last modified: June 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm by Skipper.)
(June 11, 2011 at 3:19 pm)Carnavon Wrote:
(June 10, 2011 at 11:58 pm)BethK Wrote:
(March 4, 2011 at 9:41 pm)Cynical8 Wrote: I've been dealing with an issue that I believe only atheists could really help me with, and so I came
across these forums. I just joined, and after a quick browse didn't see my issue anywhere, so I apologize
if this is a repeat topic.
Anyway. I'll do my best to explain my issue:
I'm an atheist and I also have a few problems with depression and anxiety. My problem, however, is
that I've recently developed a MAJOR "fear" of death.
Specifically, I am convinced, beyond a doubt, that there is no existence after death. I am 100%
convinced that when I die, there will be nothingness... no afterlife, no me, no thoughts, no
blackness, no sleep, nor any ability to think. I won't even know I died, and I won't even be able to
acknowledge that I don't know I died. At this moment, I feel like I really understand what that means,
and I am deeply deeply disturbed by it. I'm not sure how to cope with it. I can keep it out of my
mind for short periods of time, but ultimately I'll read an article about someone dying, see a news
report, and so on and start thinking about it again.
If anyone has any advice or thoughts or hopefully some sort of solution to my problem, I would greatly
appreciate it. Thanks.
Sorry I didn't get to answer this sooner.
Regardless of any beliefs or philosophy or scientific ideas, the operative phrase is your FEAR.
You say that you've got a fear of death. At the same time, you believe to a certainty that there is
NOTHING awaiting you - no afterlife, no ability to think or perceive, and won't even know that you
have died. So, the fear cannot be a personal one of being dead. It would seem that your fear is of the dying
process itself and what may lead up to that. Another possibility is that you fear the sadness and loss
that your loved ones will have because you are no longer with them, and possibly any people or
organizations/businesses that will miss not having you for what you could do for them. (He was right
on the brink of getting that new (invention) to work which would have done wonderful things, made
the world a better place, made us a LOT of money, and he'd have gone down in history as....) Or, perhaps
the other side of it, of not having lived up to your potential.
Let's handle these one at a time.
For one thing, are you really 100% certain that there is no afterlife, or do you strongly hold the opinion
or belief that nonexistence is the most likely thing to happen - that after you die it will be much like the
billions of years that went by before you were alive - no consciousness, no ability to think or perceive?
Or, do you view that as the most likely option, but view the other possibilities that have been suggested
over time might be right (even if at in infinitesimal probability), or even that something else is the
probable outcome. IMnsHO, this is because there is absolutely no data. There are nebulous claims made
by a lot of people about the afterlife, but the reality is that there are verifiable instances of someone who
was dead returning from the dead to tell us what it is like. Some people have wanted to prove or
disprove it very badly, such as the late Harry Houdini, who supposedly had a code/password set up
with his wife - and contrary to some claims, this was never communicated to her by anybody who claimed
to be able to contact the dead - many mediums and spiritualists tried, but to no avail. So, if the desires
one has while alive survive death, it can't be done. If desires or personality or even agreements do not
survive death, what would it mean to have "you" be conscious after death? That's part of what's wrong
with the idea of reincarnation - if you don't have any idea who you were or what you did in the past,
and don't know what you are supposed to "learn" or "get right", who or what you wanted to come back
to be with (again), or for what you are being rewarded or punished, in what respect are you the
supposedly-reincarnated individual?
From reading, it seems more likely that you fear what will lead up to dying rather than the state of being
dead. Yes, death can be very painful and very unpleasant in many ways. Perhaps you can look at obtaining
an advance directive to try to ensure that your wishes and values are heeded - that you get adequate
pain medication, that "heroic" efforts not be made to save your life - at the cost of the quality of that
remaining life.
If it's the fear for those that survive you experiencing the sadness or loss in not having you - about all I
can say is to do what you can with them now, while you are alive. If there's anything that you'd regret
not doing or saying if you were to die today, why don't you go do it, or say it, or start it? Same thing if
you'd regret not living up to your potential (in someone's eyes). If there are things that you regret not
doing, get a start on doing those things. Some regrets cannot be redone or done now - the window for
them might have passed. Some things can be. If you don't want to die without writing "that novel" or
"that poem", get started on it. If you don't want to die without seeing (some geographical/cultural
location), plan to do it, and plan to save the money so that you can at some specific time. If you want
to spend more time with someone, do that. If you want to invent something in particular, go do that.
What I'm saying is live your life to the fullest. What are really sad are lives that never were lived - by
the person's own choices.
A shorter way of restating the above paragraph is "live life to the fullest".
If I haven't touched on the real concern, and your fear of death is something else, please let me know.
Yes, even if it seems "irrational" - most fears really are. They are nonetheless very real and certainly
impact on your life.
Beth
To summarise - there is no proof either way whether this life is all there is. I think we all have a sneaky suspicion that it is not, why else this concern with death? It is a very natural process that we will all go through. Nothingness is not something to be afraid of? I would really like to find out why is it a problem to accept that there may be life after death?
Do we? I have a sneaky suspicion there is no evidence to suggest there is anything other than this life, so why think there is? You are right in saying we don't know, but we don't know a lot of things, but common sense kicks in and tells us if we don't know something then it's stupid to assume anything. When it comes to death, higher beings and the origins of our universe some people forgo common sense and jump straight for religion.
