Advice needed

[robvalue]

Oh no, I'm really sorry to hear that How utterly horrible for you.

I haven't had any experience quite like this, although... I've known something similar. Yes, some people are very suggestable. Very easily fooled and manipulated. I've seen it.

My advice is that confrontation does not work. Demands do not work. When someone changes, the best course of action is to try and be as understanding as possible, and to let them know you're there for them. Tell them you still care for them, whatever choices they make. Let them know you're there, if they want to talk.

In this way, they will come to you when they are ready and reach common ground. This has worked for me before. Be honest, but not intrusive. Express concern, but do not impose judgement or action. I have got people back this way from the precipice.

It's possible that even with this gentle approach, they won't return to you. And that is always a tragedy. It's happened to me before several times. I've lost people. But in such cases, I genuinely think there was nothing for it and a harsher approach would have failed even harder and sooner. Sometimes I think I have been too harsh and should have followed my own advice, and may have added to a rift. I regret that, and wished I'd taken a softer tone.

However, if someone is actively behaving badly such as coming into your house and preaching, you have every right to stand up to that. You could politely ask that she respect your (lack of) beliefs, as you respect hers. If she won't do so, then she is actively deciding to widen this rift and is choosing the issue over you. If that is the case, you don't matter much to her, which is again incredibly sad. I hope it would never come to that. But pressing the issue too hard, on either side, is more likely to make such a choice happen.