How to convert Christians to atheists in 30 seconds (ironically, using bible)

[Asmodee]

I don't think I've ever heard the claim before that both body and soul will live eternally.  Tell me, where do you get this and why would you want it? [1] I recently broke both elbows racing my daughter and I can tell you I don't want physical elbows in Heaven.  Why would I even need them if God, himself, is spirit? [2] You're saying that people are still going to have stinky buttholes in heaven? [3] Will the men have foreskins? [4] If yes, what about the Jews who cut theirs off as a covenant to God before Jesus?  Surely some of those will be in Heaven.  Would that mean their covenant has ended?  If no, how does that work for the uncircumcised?  Will God hire a doctor?  Will there be scaring like there is with earthly circumcision?  And what happens to the parts of the body that made up the foreskin?  That bit just stays rotting in the ground?  With there be Catholic graveyards full of coffins containing nothing but foreskins? [5]

This belief really brings up a whole lot more questions than it answers.  And it's not based on, literally, anything I have ever heard or read anywhere before. [6]

1) I get it from Jesus as mediated to the present time in the Bible, in the historically-continuous Christian communal way of life and its reflection on the Scriptures and the Christian communal way of life (i.e. Tradition), and from the present apostolic community which is historically continuous with Jesus's original community (i.e. the Church). 

Wow. That is a frigging mouth full of unintelligible nonsense. I'm just going to read that as, "I made it up" and move on.

"We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now; and not only that, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, we also groan within ourselves as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved." -Romans 8:22-24

2) Because God, who is spirit, united man, who is flesh, to his divinity in Jesus. Jesus is the divinity (pure spirit) united to humanity (body and spirit). You are NOT your body. You are NOT your soul. You ARE the UNITY of your body AND soul. If you want eternal life, you're gonna need your body. Even so, I wouldn't worry about broken elbows. The resurrected body will be incorruptible (can't break those bones!).

Good to know. So I'll be Superman. Cool.

3) Highly doubtful. You might crap ice cream for all I know.

So that's a soft "no" on the stinky buttholes, but a probable "yes" on the buttholes in general?

4) No idea. Maybe some will have them and others no? Something tells me I won't be concerned with the foreskin situation in heaven.

It's kind of important. I'm not circumcised and, frankly, I don't want to be at 90.

5) There won't be any graveyards at all. The ENTIRE WORLD will be renewed/remade/restored/divinized.

o...k... So, all the matter that makes up my body, that's going to make my new, better, Superman body, which will be uncorruptable because...um...physics no longer apply? We'll just mark that one down as "magic" and move on. But the matter of the world, coffins won't make coffins they'll make...um...flowers, or something.

6) It's one of the most ancient beliefs. Even many of the Jews believed in it before Jesus (even if they didn't know the part about divinization). In fact, the Jewish Sadducee party explicitly rejected the bodily resurrection, which is why they came up with this little diddy:

Oh, good. I was afraid it was one of those new fangled beliefs based on empirical evidence and science and whatnot. You know, "stupid stuff".