I completely understand where you're coming from, though my situation was probably a bit different.
Parents are people, like anyone else. Some people may read that and say, "Well... duh!"
But my point is, parents make mistakes. Most people treat parenting like most people treat getting a cat or dog. Sure, some dog owners do heavy research before deciding to buy a dog... they find out what kind of temperament certain dogs tend to have... what kinds of foods certain dogs tend to prefer. Proper techniques on how to train a dog, how to communicate with your dog, how to establish dominance over your dog... etc.
Same thing with parenting. Some people get really into it and put everything they have into it, but most people, I suspect, just wing it and sort of decide how to do things as they go along. One thing I've noticed about my own parents, they do not understand boundaries. In fact, I suspect most people do not really understand boundaries.
I am not very close to anyone in my family and this is mainly because I can't stand most of the people in my family. To be completely frank, most of them are unintelligent, uninteresting, inconsiderate people. The others tend to be outright mean spirited and bitter. Therefore, because I love them, I have created certain boundaries with my loved ones. If I didn't care about them I would just disregard their existence altogether and continue living my life as if they were not there... but that's not the case.
So I have found, for myself, that creating clear, concise boundaries with my parents, and other family members, has been the best way to go.
Without boundaries any relationship can turn messy. And the longer you go without cleaning up the mess, the worse things tend to get.
Good luck with everything!
Parents are people, like anyone else. Some people may read that and say, "Well... duh!"
But my point is, parents make mistakes. Most people treat parenting like most people treat getting a cat or dog. Sure, some dog owners do heavy research before deciding to buy a dog... they find out what kind of temperament certain dogs tend to have... what kinds of foods certain dogs tend to prefer. Proper techniques on how to train a dog, how to communicate with your dog, how to establish dominance over your dog... etc.
Same thing with parenting. Some people get really into it and put everything they have into it, but most people, I suspect, just wing it and sort of decide how to do things as they go along. One thing I've noticed about my own parents, they do not understand boundaries. In fact, I suspect most people do not really understand boundaries.
I am not very close to anyone in my family and this is mainly because I can't stand most of the people in my family. To be completely frank, most of them are unintelligent, uninteresting, inconsiderate people. The others tend to be outright mean spirited and bitter. Therefore, because I love them, I have created certain boundaries with my loved ones. If I didn't care about them I would just disregard their existence altogether and continue living my life as if they were not there... but that's not the case.
So I have found, for myself, that creating clear, concise boundaries with my parents, and other family members, has been the best way to go.
Without boundaries any relationship can turn messy. And the longer you go without cleaning up the mess, the worse things tend to get.
Good luck with everything!
“Love is the only bow on Life’s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher.
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
