Christianity and Suicide

[Jesster]

 Why did you leave the church, if you do not mind me asking.

I'm going to assume you meant the literal church services and not the more figurative sense. I left those because I never felt comfortable at church services. I am an extreme introvert and I don't handle my anxiety well in social situations, so I do much better in small groups (or one-on-one) away from the more official-feeling programs.

If you mean to ask why I'm not a Christian anymore, however, it's because I just didn't have any reason to believe anymore even when I wanted to. It's as simple as that.

It was never anything too dramatic.

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 I want to tell you something that happened to me several years ago that is only one of many things that allows me to know God is real. As I was reading the Bible, the book of Exodus, I read that God told Moses to tell His people I am, I am who I am. Of coarse I've read this many times before but this time I started wondering what God meant when He told Moses this. I prayed for an answer to this question every day for a long time. I wasn't getting an answer so I assumed God did not want to reveal this to me at the time and maybe never, so I quit asking and moved on to other things to pray about. We had began a Bible study at church that Henry Blackabee wrote, (probably spell his last name wrong) and it was to last several weeks. In the middle of this study we were to meditate about what we were learning and as I set in the middle of my bed doing so, with my mind completely clear of any thoughts I heard a voice very clearly say, I am the truth. I knew even after months of not even thinking about my prayer it was answered. God told me that He meant for the Israelites to know this, He is the truth. I went to my knees and thanked God for the answer. It took a long time for me to realize what this encompassed besides God doesn't lie. Here is what God was saying, for Him to love He had to be the truth, for Him to be just He must be the truth, for Him to be righteous he had to be the truth, for him to be sinless He had to be the truth, for Him to care about everyone He had to be the truth, for Him to be good He had to be the truth, for Him to be savior He had to be the truth, for Him to be forgiving He had to be the truth. I think you see what I'm saying, for God to be all the things He claims to be He has to be the absolute, objective truth. God could not be who He is without being the absolute truth. God opened this up to me through a prayer about Moses and what God told him. God answered my prayer about a man and his conversation with God several thousand years ago, a Bible story. Not only was God confirming that He is real but the story in the Bible is real and I got to learn so much more about the one who saw fit to give me eternal life through Jesus. I knew then that God had looked down through the ages and saw my needs and saw fit to answer me in His own time a time made for me. This may sound strange to you and in a way I hope it does so that you might think on it for a while, it is a true story that delights my heart every time I recall it, which is often, like last night. So I decided to share it with you. have a good rest of the weekend if you get this before the weekend is over.

GC

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Okay. I've read and studied that part of the bible as well. I also did my fair share of praying when I was a Christian. It didn't really do anything like that for me, so I'm not sure what to tell you. If you want your god to give me some sort of sign or something, please tell him that I'm listening. I'm not going to just believe because someone else says they had some sort of experience.

After all your time trying to get people to believe, is telling your personal story your big go-to method? I've seen you mention this a few times before. I can assure you that this sort of thing won't work on pretty much any skeptical-minded person, including me. I'd suggest you start looking into why a skeptic believes anything (because we do believe things) and try to use that approach instead. Try to see things from another's perspective and maybe you'll be better equipped to speak with them. It's just a suggestion. You've been nice to me, so I'll try to return the favor. I hope you have a good weekend as well.