HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[Minimalist]

Borowitz.... this guy is brilliant.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz...YzMjg5NQS2

Mitch McConnell Hospitalized with Low White-Vote Count

Doctors at Walter Reed Army Medical Center said that when McConnell arrived at the facility his white-vote count had fallen below fifty and he had gone into shock.
Dr. Harland Dorrinson, a physician at Walter Reed who is monitoring McConnell’s condition, called his low white-vote count “very serious.”
“Mitch McConnell needs a white-vote count of at least fifty in order to function,” he said. “If it falls below fifty and stays there for an extended period of time, he cannot survive.”