RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 5:43 pm
(This post was last modified: July 18, 2017 at 5:45 pm by *Deidre*.)
(July 18, 2017 at 5:38 pm)mh.brewer Wrote:(July 18, 2017 at 5:32 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: But friendships can't be one-sided lest they stop being friendships.
I agree. Does tit for tat correct one sided? It might, but not in my world.
It doesn't. This seems to work for my friend, but I've never really tried it. But, I don't return kindness for meanness...I return silence. The main flaw in my friend's give what you get theory, is that I do think we gain something within ourselves, a strength or whatever, by taking the higher road. Taking the high road doesn't mean though that we have to sacrifice our integrity to be someone's friend, it rather means not stooping to someone else's level. Like when I see ad homs fly on here for example, I don't think it's necessary to zing someone back in reply. So, giving what you get in those scenarios really doesn't bridge gaps in dissenting discussions, imo.
(July 18, 2017 at 5:40 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:(July 18, 2017 at 5:35 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Everybody gets taken advantage of at some time or another.
And for family, friends, and lovers, I will offer that up, because I like doing things for the people I love. Reciprocity is appreciated ... but if it is rarely or never offered, I will dial back a little.
I totally agree with this. Is it wrong to 'dial it back?' I don't think it is. And if someone is honestly not a friend and is really just a user, then it's better imo to recognize the situation for what it is.
