I would like some advise

[Hammok Man]

I strongly believe in honesty as it is an ethical and often times justified thing to do. This is a situation where I feel as if somebody his age would benefit from realizing that a person can be good without a god. Children internalize things often very quickly and the sooner he realizes that there are people like us who are atheists and are good people he can learn to accept this. One of my biggest issues is the fact you go to a church. I could not fathom going back to a a masjid because everytime I hear Muslims speak of a god I just break out laughing. I cannot take anything involving it seriously. This to me is something that I cannot understand with atheists in relationships or atheists trying to keep a facade when it is practical for them to drop it.

I understand it is easy for me to talk and say this but having been in a stable relationship for some years I always know my partner's stance on matters and I was very clear from the get-go that I was an atheist and more so an anti-theist. I have no problems bringing this up to people at all although I would feel more ashamed to bring up my previous religious affiliation as it embarresses me oddly enough. I am the sort of person that feels embarrassed about ever being a theist .

Now if your wife truly loves you I hope she can come to grips that you are not a theist and in no way shape or form a Catholic man. You should also have no restraints in calling out the ludicrous if pressured to but at the same time remain respectful. But this does involve your child and you may also wish to take into account that your child may go blabbing up and down the halls that their daddy is an atheist. Having dealt in a daycare I know full well how unrestricted children's mouths are and it is astonishing many of them cannot put it together on the effects of language.

I do think some amount of honesty is needed int his situation though. How much I cannot say since you should be able to predict the reactions better than I.

I really do not mind going to mass.  Sometimes the priest comes up with a clever homily, if not then i am content to sit quietly and do nothing (I have very little opportunity to do this).  If i gave the impression that Mass was a weekly part of our schedule that is very wrong.  We made it to mass as a family about 5 times last year.  Most of the time we are busy or out of town.  It is a pretty low priority.

Before we married I frequently told my wife that I thought the catholic church is a bunch of nonsense.  We have been together for about 20 years, and I like to think we know everything we need to know about each other.  I feel like her continued belief in God and the church (granted she takes what she wants and leaves the rest) is comforting to her. This is her business not mine, I am not one of these people that has to project his opinions on other people.  Once again after 20 years she knows.

Kids mouths do run.  My oldest overheard my wife and I talking about birth control one night with another couple.  I made a statement, "The catholic church is really just interested in new Catholics, not how many we can afford."  It turned into a rather minor scandal during sex education in 6th grade.