The church dictated my marriage when they found out I had sex with the dude. They had him baptized first, so I wouldn't marry a Catholic, had him take some doctrine courses, then I got married. Of course, people may say I had a choice. Nobody put a gun to my head. When you grow up the way I did, though, all you want to do is be obedient, submissive to the god (and therefore, his chosen ones), repent and serve. I was married for 11 years.
During that marriage, I discovered that I didn't have an identity. I didn't have a personality of my own. I didn't have tastes. I was clay and the church was the hands that shaped it. It was so easy to get married and now let my husband's world reshape me. Being clay was what I knew best. Things changed when I began to question this pattern.
I was no longer a believer. I no longer liked his friends, so I got new ones. I went to school. I changed jobs. I listened to other music. I went to the movies alone, so I could pick the movie myself this time. I went to dinner alone, so I could think and not be interrupted. I tried something different to drink and I liked it.
I was no longer the person I was when we got married. One thing lead to another, and boom. It was over. Funny thing... his girlfriend is a catechism teacher for kids. I only date atheists.
Anywhooooooo... don't let people dictate who you marry or why. You'll waste your life and their's. It's not fair for you. It's not fair for him. No matter what. It hurts my heart and my brain to think of the time we both wasted. I feel bad for him. I really hope he can be happy one day.
Also... I thought I knew what orgasms were like... until after we left each other. Yes, I experienced the best orgasms after 30. Mind blown. It gets better when you have a say in it.
During that marriage, I discovered that I didn't have an identity. I didn't have a personality of my own. I didn't have tastes. I was clay and the church was the hands that shaped it. It was so easy to get married and now let my husband's world reshape me. Being clay was what I knew best. Things changed when I began to question this pattern.
I was no longer a believer. I no longer liked his friends, so I got new ones. I went to school. I changed jobs. I listened to other music. I went to the movies alone, so I could pick the movie myself this time. I went to dinner alone, so I could think and not be interrupted. I tried something different to drink and I liked it.
I was no longer the person I was when we got married. One thing lead to another, and boom. It was over. Funny thing... his girlfriend is a catechism teacher for kids. I only date atheists.
Anywhooooooo... don't let people dictate who you marry or why. You'll waste your life and their's. It's not fair for you. It's not fair for him. No matter what. It hurts my heart and my brain to think of the time we both wasted. I feel bad for him. I really hope he can be happy one day.
Also... I thought I knew what orgasms were like... until after we left each other. Yes, I experienced the best orgasms after 30. Mind blown. It gets better when you have a say in it.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
