Would you go to church just to prove it won't change anything about you?

[Rev. Rye]

This is a very interesting situation.

Option A: Go to the church. If at all possible, try to get at least one of them to say which church is "the right one." There's a possibility that at least two of them will answer and have different answers to that same question. If this happens, take the opportunity to make the point that the claim that you're only an atheist because you haven't gone to the right church to be totally pointless since there is no objective point of reference. If, however, you only get one answer, you may as well just go. The worst that's likely to happen is that either you spend an hour or two bored out of your skull (in which case, you will likely have in your pew a Bible, a pencil, and two hands, which can be used to play five-finger fillet during the service, which is what I usually do when dragged to church by my parents), or at least you will have an experience to rant about if you choose one of the more crazy denominations out there (since you live in Kentucky, which technically counts as the Bible belt, this is still a distinct possibility.)

Option B: Don't and say you did. If you don't want to go through all the trouble of Option A, wait until Monday and say you did. You may want to add some details for verisimilitude, but there's a pretty big chance that they won't leave you alone unless you actually do take leave of your senses and convert. If it turns out that they don't believe you, then I would suggest enlightening them with this article I worked on about how theists who want to be taken seriously by atheists should argue.