My mom is dying, going to need an ear.

[Brian37]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I know how hard it can be to have to let someone very close to you go. Coming to terms with it is hard and it can take a long time. Just know that there is no set time for grieving but make sure you take care of yourself. Self-care is important when you are going through such a hard time like this.


I'm just a PM away if you need an ear....or an eye. A person to talk to.

You never get over that kind of loss, but time and friends do help. I have to say having things like the trip to go on did help. I'll be going to Oklahoma this fall to visit my redneck friend John. Hopefully we will go to a Dallas/Skins game, 3 hours away south of him. I know that would make her happy. She loved both Bob and John and DID get to see them on Skype at least. Mom was a lifetime Skins fan, but I know John will be rooting for Dallas and my Mom would be conflicted because while ultimately she'd want the Skins to win, she always loved watching me squirm when my friends teased me. 

This thread is my way of coping. My Mom would have wanted me to be happy and not sad all the time. I still miss her of course, but I use this thread to post the good things about her too. Everyone will go through some sort of family loss unfortunately. I also hope it gives others comfort knowing they are not alone. You can remember the good times too.


My favorite thing to do with Mom was having her riding in the back of the van, both on local and long trips, we had a few silly ongoing car jokes/games we would repeat and that made it fun. I'll also miss looking in the rear view listening to her try to sing ABBA songs, it was about the only music we had in common. Billy Joel's "My Life" I knew long ago was one of her favorite songs, she used to tease me back then and even in her old age with the line, "Go ahead with your own life leave me alone".

And don't get me started on how I set myself up at her urologist's office one day. The doc had one of those medical graphics in the exam room,of a gloved hand/finger up a rear. OK I GET IT, someone needs to know that, and a patient may need to know it, BUT how about a NEED TO KNOW BASIS? I really felt uncomfortable sitting next to my Mom while looking at that, stupid me made the mistake of saying something to her. Ever since that she took every opportunity to wiggle her finger at me to squirm. 

Then, there was another time she got a geriatric magazine selling all sorts of products. I was sitting on the couch in her apartment flipping through it and WITHOUT WARNING, I hit TWO PAGES of adult TOYS for the bedroom. I AM NOT KIDDING! And all I could think was, "HOLY CRAP GUYS, a little warning." I mean who the hell wants to be sitting next to their parents and see that? I didn't shout but did raise my voice saying "EWE!" She asked what was up, I handed her the magazine and she laughed. 

She always teased me about my fear of heights too. Anytime we'd pass a tall cell phone tower on a trip, she'd joke asking me if I could climb it to change the light bulb at the top. Then there was our tradition of playing table top football while waiting for our food eating out. She'd double tap which is cheating if anyone has played it. I'd move the triangle football as a penalty and she would laugh. 

I do miss all that, but it does bring me lots of comfort to know I had that time and love and fun with her.