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April 12, 2018 at 2:33 pm (This post was last modified: April 12, 2018 at 2:35 pm by Shell B.)
(April 12, 2018 at 2:12 pm)mlmooney89 Wrote:
(April 12, 2018 at 12:28 pm)Shell B Wrote: I don't understand why family members can't? I like throwing them for my siblings.
Short answer? Miss Manners says so. Long answer is in etiquette rules. I'm very big into following etiquette rules to the point where I say "But Miss Manners says..." so much my family will yell at me the moment they hear her name. Here is what she says about different parties.
Births: As you know, showers should never be given by relatives, although Miss Manners has heard of shocking cases where baby showers were actually given by the prospective parents or grandparents. What they can properly give are celebratory parties after a christening or bris.
Birthdays: School-age children are the nominal hosts of their own birthday parties, presumably to teach them how to be gracious in that role. The fad of parents giving parties for babies is generally indulged if the guests are family intimates or if the baby sleeps through and drinks are served. Major birthdays of adults can be celebrated at parties given by relatives, but should be limited to two for a lifetime (30th and 60th, for example, or 75th and 90th).
But then look what happened: Children who had been unrestrained by the etiquette of hospitality grew up to demand that others throw themselves annual birthday parties, mandating the conditions and expecting the guests to pay.
Weddings: Miss Manners has heard of the same thing happening in connection with weddings: showers and other auxiliary parties that do not originate with friends but are assigned to them by the bride or given by her relatives.
Any other party given by celebrants or their relatives, notably that announcing an engagement, is properly not named as such. As some of you have figured out on your own, the advantage of announcing the occasion when the guests are assembled is not only their gasp of surprise. It is their declaration, "Oh, I wish I'd known; I would have brought a present."
For serious? Etiquette is a farce.
Also . . . Emily Post is the etiquette queen and the Emily Post Institute puts no such restrictions on baby showers. Who is this Miss Manners bitch and where does she get off telling people how to live?
