Let's Make Questionaires Great Again

[Brian37]

So many questionaires, so little time.

My turn.

Answer or I kill the hostages.*

1.  Why?

2.  Lepers or unicorns.

3.  Do you judge people by my standards?

4.  Why not?

5.  If you were an amazon, what colour would your boomerang be?

6.  Cats or dogs?

7.  Lizards or frogs?

8.  If you found a talking frog who was an enchanted prince, would you kiss it or make money off owning a talking frog?

9  Are leprechauns sexy?

10.  Velcro gloves AND gumboots?

11.  What colour lipstick is your favourite?

12.  Should I have made a poll to go with this questionaire?

13.  Fuck all polls?

14.  What the fuck has Poland ever done to you, you racist prick?

15.  Should I invent another 30 inane questions just to piss off Boru?

16.  Would you trust medication I gave you?

*They're going to die anyway.  I just want to torment them by giving them false hope.

1. Why?

My mom fed me white lead paint chips and told me they were frosted flakes. I said, "These taste funny." She said, "Shut the fuck up and eat it."

2. Lepers or unicorns?

Plaid leaches.

3. Do you judge people by my standards?

Get your mind out of the gutter, and let mine float by.

4. Why not?

I am fine with consensual sex, not prison sex.

5.  If you were an amazon, what colour would your boomerang be?

I am not about to show my boomerang in public. It never wants to come back in any case.

6. Cats or dogs?

 Adult Hippos.

7. Lizards or frogs?

Frogs, we already have a lizard in the White House.

8. If you found a talking frog who was an enchanted prince, would you kiss it or make money off owning a talking frog?

Malania could kiss that fucking toad forever it won't change shit.


9.  Are leprechauns sexy?

Depends on the bath salts you use I guess.

10.  Velcro gloves AND gumboots?

I will stick with the Velcro because I have no fucking clue what "gumboots" are.

11.  What colour lipstick is your favourite?

Any attractive woman who isn't repulsed by me wanting to kick me in the balls.

12.  Should I have made a poll to go with this questionaire?

You can't make Polls, or Arabs or Greeks or Italians. What? You didn't see that one coming?

13. Fuck all polls?

No, only fuck others who consent to sex. HOLY CRAP dude! 

14. What the fuck has Poland ever done to you, you racist prick?

I cant understand why their flag doesn't have a "Festivus poll" on it. 

15.  Should I invent another 30 inane questions just to piss off Boru?

No, Mr Owl knows it only takes 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop.

16. Would you trust medication I gave you?

Because you convinced me to ignore that it tasted like bitter almonds.