Reason Jesus must have been a real person

[Bob Kelso]

I think I new a construction worker named Jesus. Nice guy, handy with a hammer. Not so great at forgiving sins though.

He didn't try to crucify himself, did he?

"Thst's a really negative way to kill yourself, Rick. I've tried it hundreds if times. There's no way you can hammer in the last nail!"
- Neil.

No but he did have a habit of missing the nails and hitting his thumb, always screamed his own name when he did. Odd guy, but nice enough.