Beating Children

[Rayaan]

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A spanking (or a beating, if you will) is meant to cause pain. It's sole purpose is for the child to associate a certain activity with a painful result. Therefore, in order for a spanking to work - it has to be, by very definition, somewhat brutal ... something the child, absolutely does not want to happen again. A spanking that is "appropriate" (doesn't cause any significant pain) does not do the job intended and therefore does not really exist. In other words, if you're not causing any negative reaction from the child (crying due to pain) than you're not giving a spanking - you're merely pestering your little one, and the punishment is meaningless. [...]

Anyway, sorry bout the rant. Unless you're going to beat the shit out of your kids, spankings are pointless and I personally think that its a lazy stupid adult that can't come up with something that works 10x better without an ounce of physical pain.

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I agree with everything that you wrote, Cinjin, except for this part of your post. I mean, why does a spanking have to be brutal for it to work?

Also, you said that spankings are pointless "unless you're going to beat the shit out of your kids." But in my opinion, I think it can be less brutal than that and still work sometimes (if not always). I don't think that a spanking is meant to cause pain nor make the child associate a certain activity only with pain, as you said. Why? Because there is also a psychological element behind it (and I'm sure that you already know this) which seems to have the greatest impact on children and this psychological element can be present in many, varying degrees of brutality. Therefore, a spanking can be softer and yet have an effect on the child's behavior as opposed to a harder one.

Don't get me wrong, though:

I do think it's okay to beat the shit out of your kids in a very serious situation - such as the ones that you mentioned above - but it's also okay to exert a lighter spanking if the child did something less serious and/or offensive. Nevertheless, as I stated in my first reply, I think it would be better to avoid a physical damage in all types of situation (i.e. regardless of whether the child did something really, really bad or slightly bad) in the first place which, I know that you already agree with. So, there's no disagreement between us on that issue at least.