Do you wish there's a god?

[Belacqua]

As an adult, the knowledge that I don't know what's true, that I'm still thinking about it, that -- in the strict sense of having no belief -- I don't believe. 

That's interesting, all this time I thought your were some sort of theist. Not so much because you defended theistic views, but because of your knowledge of them.

You're perhaps the first atheist I've ever met, whose understanding of theism isn't limited to Fundie Evangelism, or whatever low hanging fruits are available.

I used to be of the opinion that a person could only sustain their atheism, by having a limited understanding of theism, much like a creationist can only sustain their views, by having a limited understanding of Evolution, but you seem to be an exception to the rule.

Much respect.

Thank you! I genuinely appreciate that. 

It's frustrating when someone says "Christians believe X," and I know for a fact that Augustine, Aquinas, Dante, Nicholas of Cusa, Jacob Boehme, and William Blake all didn't believe that. I have been told straight out that when someone says "Christian," they only want to talk about the dumb ones. 

To me the whole subject -- theology, the arts that are related to it, and the insight it gives into people -- is a source of great beauty. It didn't occur to me that I had to choose a side and fight until I started looking at sites like this one. But one thing I have learned -- choosing a side tends to close the mind. It would make me sad to shut out the source of so much greatness.