Do you wish there's a god?

[Acrobat]

I don’t know about your specific emotional reaction, but some truths are aesthetic in nature, moral truths being one such example.

Even the common claim of atheists here, that they desire truth, can only be true, if truth is something ultimately desirable. There has to be something that draws us to it, to provoke us to seek it. Or else you’re just seeking the feeling of truthiness than truth itself

It's not just my emotional reactions which are suspect, but those of all humans due to our habitual tendency to be conditioned by our environments, families, and societies. Such conditioning routinely warps our perceptions of the facts. This has been shown to be true again and again in psychological studies.

Facts have utility. They help us operate effectively in the world they describe. That is what makes difficult, ugly, and even painful truths desirable. Like being diagnosed with cancer, it's better to know some things in a timely manner.

We are biological creatures, all our reactions are biological. Saying your suspect of your emotional reactions is not much different than saying your suspect of your biological reactions, a state of perpetual doubt, and uncertainty.

So is your desire for utility, for useful things, and not truth? If believing a lie is more useful than believing a truth, why would you desire truth?

If you doubt that truth has intrinsic aesthetic quality about it, then you should also doubt that truth is intrinsic useful. Your desire are for what conscience to and useful, not necessarily truthful.

You also haven’t mentioned anything about moral truths.

Care to provide a moral truth, and indicate why it’s absent of any aesthetic property, yet can be called moral?