Best one I ever pulled was on a passenger in my car, a long time ago. We had just left a friends house, and neither of us realized that friend was in the car behind us. Keep in mind if you are the driver, the rear view mirror is slanted to the driver, so the passenger cant always see what you see as a driver that is behind you. So we pull up to a traffic light, an we hear a loud honk behind us. Both of us were startled, I look in my rear view, saw it was our friend, looked over at my still startled passenger, and a split second thought "opportunity".
So in that split second I raised my voice and said, "Who does that fucker think he is?" My passenger not knowing who was behind us, dropped his jaw, and mind you, I am a complete fucking wimp. My passenger was like, "What, Brian, let it go". I responded with with, "No, he's not going to get away with that". Then I started to open my car door as if to imply I was going to start a fight with our friend behind us, and my passenger swung his left arm and grabbed my shirt/chest to pull me back in and shouted "NO!"
What was funny about it was I am a complete wimp, and for him to think I was going start a fight with a complete stranger was funny as shit.
Next best joke involves my current best friend Hillbilly Atheist, from Oklahoma, but at the time he lived in Denver.
So one night I Skype him and it turned out he was on Denver's public transit bus. So he has a hearing problem so he has the volume turned up high on his headphones. I took notice of the automated pre recorded voice that transit uses for stops. It was a very sexy female recording. So I started to make jokes about how I wanted to date the bus, and what I would do to the bus, and John(HB) was like "Dude, lower your voice, other people can hear you."
So in that split second I raised my voice and said, "Who does that fucker think he is?" My passenger not knowing who was behind us, dropped his jaw, and mind you, I am a complete fucking wimp. My passenger was like, "What, Brian, let it go". I responded with with, "No, he's not going to get away with that". Then I started to open my car door as if to imply I was going to start a fight with our friend behind us, and my passenger swung his left arm and grabbed my shirt/chest to pull me back in and shouted "NO!"
What was funny about it was I am a complete wimp, and for him to think I was going start a fight with a complete stranger was funny as shit.
Next best joke involves my current best friend Hillbilly Atheist, from Oklahoma, but at the time he lived in Denver.
So one night I Skype him and it turned out he was on Denver's public transit bus. So he has a hearing problem so he has the volume turned up high on his headphones. I took notice of the automated pre recorded voice that transit uses for stops. It was a very sexy female recording. So I started to make jokes about how I wanted to date the bus, and what I would do to the bus, and John(HB) was like "Dude, lower your voice, other people can hear you."
