Anybody know of any jokes that mock God?

[IanHulett]

Hey. I came up with a joke that mocks god:

Don't listen to God. He's a troll. If you keep feeding him, he's going to keep threatening us with eternal damnation. Just ignore him, pretend he doesn't exist, and maybe he'll go away.

Yeah, I know, probably not the funniest joke in the world.
How about you? Do you know of any?

[Dystopia]

[vorlon13]

God walks into a bar and says, "let there be light





















beer!"

[robvalue]

I started using meme generator recently and got carried away and made loads hehe. I'll put up the god ones I did:

[Thumpalumpacus]

God-mockery starts at about 0:45, but the entire monologue is both funny and spot-on:

[Napoléon]

[vorlon13]

Maybe Anusius did that ?

You didn't think of that did you ???

Anusius is not a second tier God, I'll have you know!!!

Now get down to the Temple of the Anusius (White Swallow Adult Book Store arcade booth #3) and wait for your consecration !!!!

[Gawdzilla]

Three gay men die in an auto accident and meet up in Heaven.

"Okay, boys, let's split up and check out the action. Back here in four hours, okay?"

They meet at the appointed time and make their reports.

"Well, I found out why they call him Saint PETER!"

"Oh, I learned that Gabriel blows more than one horn!"

"You two are lame! Because mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!"

[PhoenixJadyen]

(I'm so gonna burn)

Joke 1: Why can't Jesus eat m&m's?
Because of the holes in his hands.


Joke 2: Little boy writes a letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,
I've been a good... (crumples up paper)
Dear Santa,
I've been a very good...(crumples up paper)
Goes to his mothers stand and grabs a statue of Mary wraps it in a towel and hides it under the bed and writes this letter.
Dear God,
If you ever want to see your mother again....

Joke 3: A painter is touching up the Sistine chapel. He looks down and notices a little old italian lady saying her rosary. He decides to have fun.
Man: HELLO! THIS IS THE LORD TALKING TO YA!
Woman: ......
Man: HELLO! THIS IS THE LORD TALKING TO YA!
Woman:.....
Man: I SAID HELLO!....
Woman: Shat up I'm a talka to ya mother.

[emilynghiem]

A. My favorite God humor is God's facebook page Genesis edition
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/3739519...of-genesis

Runner up is the Great God Contest: http://www.islandnet.com/~luree/contest.html

B. There were two other replies that blended into one post. sorry:

Here is an entry I wrote for a bad writing contest. Enjoy!
==================================

"Clueless"

For once in eternity,
God didn't know what to do, although he was omniscient.
And knew it. Or thought so.
He wasn't sure. If he knew all things in heaven and hell,
which was a hell of a lot more than heaven alone,
he'd instantly know in advance how to respond in the future.
But he didn't. Nothing made sense anymore.

The chances of humans' outsmarting God were lower than a snowball's chance in hell, or heaven and hell combined, whichever was worse.
How could they set him up behind his back, in front of his face?
Only God could achieve the impossible, so this must be his will, since it was clearly impossible.
He was stunned. This made no sense, and he knew it.
Or thought he did. Aarrgghh!

Never mind, he assured himself, it's some trick of the Devil he allowed.
Then made himself forget, since he was omnipotent.
Only God could make himself forget that he forgot something, right?
Just forget it, he thought.

God tore through his files, searching. For deliberately random scribbles, or any clue why he might plan to forget whatever plans he forgot.
There must be some note reminding him, but since he could not remember where he forgot he wrote it down, surely he planned all that!
How else could he set up humans to set him up, unless he set that up, too? This whole thing smelled of a setup, right under his nose.

Finding no answers, he found himself lost.
For the first time in history, without beginning or end,
God was clueless. If his plan was to prove his omniscience,
now he knew how cluelessness felt.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have a clue!
He now knew what it meant not to know.
At least he knew that much.

---

C: The Tweet of God in reply to @robvalue

I started using meme generator recently and got carried away and made loads hehe. I'll put up the god ones I did:

---

There is a whole series of Tweets that are a spoof on God

God‏@TheTweetOfGod

The new U.S. Congress is 80% white, 80% male, 92% Christian, and 99% 1%.

God on Twitter

It is sinful that gay marriage is now allowed in Florida when in fact NO marriages should be allowed there or human activity of any kind.

My favorite in the series:
I'll say it before and I'll say it again.
The Bible is 100% accurate.
Especially when thrown at close range.