God is a Mass Murderer

[Belacqua]

threatening people with eternal damnation for not following him. seems pretty asshole-like to me.

By defining God in this way, which is certainly not the only definition, you include the conclusion in the definition. 

I get the impression you're not interested in talking about this. Maybe you're only here to repeat your emotional reactions? 

Anyway, here is a different view of hell, which comes from Neoplatonism but has long existed in Christianity as well. It's a minority, non-mainstream view, but a long-lasting one. (I understand that for some people on this forum, the term "Christianity" only refers to modern mainstream American Christianity. But there are other kinds.)

In the Christian Neoplatonic view, hell is a state not a location. God, in this tradition, is the One and the Good. It is complete integration and lack of conflict. The fall of man is not disobedience but perceptual closing, in which we forget that we are all part of the One and begin to focus on division and the selfhood. 

Hell, in this view, is the state of being in division. It is perceptual closure to the point where we only see the most obvious surfaces of things and not their infinite interconnectedness. It is the illusion which allows us to think we don't need others and can condemn them. 

God, in this view, condemns no one. We feel condemned or feel in a hellish condition because we perceive so little of the world. Going to heaven is not a spatial movement but a perceptual change. It can happen right where you're sitting. 

The condition of hell is maintained by a desire to continue in ignorance, by refusing to feel connection to others and to the environment, and by the pride of feeling that my selfhood is somehow better than others'. It is maintained by sitting around and calling other people assholes and saying "fuck those guys if they believe differently from me," instead of finding empathy and increasing one's own knowledge. 

Again, the rank and file who attend church in your neighborhood probably have never heard of this view. Nonetheless it is a longstanding part of Christianity, and some of the most interesting and intelligent Christians have written about it.