I, like everybody else, can only go by whatever you choose to share here. When I see comments apparently expressing a dismissive attitude to life, combined with wilfully blind devotion to a religion that has been described by some as a death cult, I feel obliged to point it out. Of course I have no idea of your character in the real world (by that I mean the world beyond this forum; not the one in your head); you may be a decent bloke with whom I could happily share a pint of Banks's and a bag of scratchings. However, the character of the person you present here scares me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'