Random Thoughts

[Spongebob]

I returned a garment for my wife recently through the post office because they would not accept personally delivered returns. The store was located a mere 5 blocks from the P.O. but it still took 3 days.

You should have went to a costume store, procured a postman's costume, and delivered the package yourself. Apart from the fact that that's probably a federal crime and in no way worth the risk, I'm surprised you didn't consider it as a way to process your return more quickly.

Your imagination is far more advanced (and devious) than mine, I'm afraid.