Feeling a bit atheistish these days

[Rhizomorph13]

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DeistPaladin you are right in asserting that deconversion is a slow and lengthy process, at least it was for me. I think this has to do with the level of belief and indoctrination. I was as fundamentalist a Pentecostal holy roller as they come and I took the bible at its word literally. Blinded by my faith I could not see the many contradictions and when I was shown them I quickly resorted to the famous quote from Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:12 '12 Now we see only reflections in a mirror, mere riddles, but then we shall be seeing face to face. Now I can know only imperfectly; but then I shall know just as fully as I am myself known.' (NJB)

Every time I was thrown a contradiction, that was my go to verse to counteract the skeptics. I believed at the time that I felt Christ's spirit residing in me, talking to me in my mind, guiding my every step. When I preached in churches, on the street, or on the radio I swore that I felt the power of the Holy Spirit surging through me in the form of electric currents flowing through my body. When I prayed for people and they passed out at a look or a touch from my hand I gave God all the glory and the praise.

After I left the church it took me literally about 6 years to fully embrace my atheism and overcome the "fear of the Lord." Every day I asked God to prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he exists and it's been 18 years and he has yet to prove anything. It's a long road my friend and a journey that we each must take on our own, no one can deconvert anyone this is a personal journey and everyone reaches their own conclusions in the end. Some turn back to theism while others like myself become wholly unconvinced that Christianity is nothing more than mere myth. Good luck with your journey and try and take it one day at a time my friend.

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DO NOT TEST THE LORD YOUR GOD!! Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.