(September 4, 2023 at 5:29 am)FrustratedFool Wrote: I've been told plenty of times that I'm not a real man. Which is in part what led me to abandon the label of man altogether, so I guess they're now right, lol.
But the criteria for what counts as a 'real man' is fairly vague.
For me, the message I got from my surrounding UK culture was that a 'real man' was a tall, physically strong, adult heterosexual male, with a deep voice, who had killed other men in combat, could drink prodigious amounts, ate lots of meat, was fully independent, never displayed fear or sentimentality, had a large number of sexual conquests, enjoyed playing sports, and was an expert in engineering and DIY.
What message did you recieve in your culture about what constituted a 'real man'?
In Japan the macho-man stuff is a lot less important.
I'd say that here, a real man is one who takes on his social role with commitment, and does his very best. Even if that means sacrificing personal pleasure or short-term rewards. Depending on what role that is, it might also involve knuckling under to one's company or other kind of hierarchy.
Traditionally this meant providing for a wife and kids, and taking care of parents as they age. This is all about doing your part to keep society stable and secure.
Obviously there have always been guys who don't live up to this, or choose a more eccentric path. Such people aren't necessarily seen as non-masculine, but they would be considered to be outside of a "normal man's" role.
