What is the religious defense of this Jesus Christ quote?

[brewer]

How about 2 Kings 2:23-24. I always like this one.

It's a textbook case of understanding the context. This is a little lengthy, so please bear with me.

Firstly, and most importantly, no children were harmed in the making of this story. Or bears, if that's more important to you. It's a story. Children die in stories all the time, and no-one gets irate. Hansel and Gretel? Pied Piper?

Secondly, it's not about baldness. There is no indication anywhere that Elisha went prematurely bald, and he lived long after these events. Elijah had only just gone to heaven, and that context makes it clear that Elisha had done the ritual head shaving that was funeral custom at the time.

Thirdly, the Hebrew words used for 'boys' cover a spectrum from ankle biters to army ready young men. Think 'hoodie'. And lots and lots of them. Not nice if they take agin' you.

Fourthly, the town was a hotbed of religious tension, and the youths were on the God-disliking side. The writer is clearly telling us it's all about to kick off, with 'it' being Elisha's head.

Which explains why the rather odd phrase “Go up, you baldhead!” (ESV) gets used. It's not a normal term of threatening. They're basically saying “You're now going to follow your BFF in departing this earth”.

At which point in the story, God intervenes to protect His servant against His enemies; a bear, which was probably in the woods for the well known reason, and didn't appreciate the disturbance, decides to demonstrate the possible consequences of excessive noise.

It's a parable. It picks up on a number of key themes that occur throughout the OT. God looked after those of His people who were faithful. If God's people bring up their children to oppose God, it doesn't end well. Otherwise, nothing to see here.

That's a lot of fancy dancing. Could jitterbug the suicidal pigs next? (Matthew 8:28-34)

Edit: I'm not suprised you validate this as a story, that's all the bible really is. Stories made by humans, nothing more. I hope you understand that makes god and all of it's attributes story also.