Then come here for a little encouragement. You can give it later.
I dealt with a very long custody battle for my stepson. I will not get into details, as I have a strong policy against publicly insulting his biological mother and it really is his business why we had to get custody, so I like to keep his business private. At any rate, I know exactly how you feel. During one stretch of the custody battle, which usually went well for us, but was still nerve-wracking, I caught a gastrointestinal virus that had me floored for months. It eventually settled in my heart, leaving me with arrhythmia. (I've told this story here, but it belongs in this thread, really.) In the meantime, I was given a beta blocker. The beta blocker made me want to die. I was so depressed on top of being sick that I was just done with life. I was taken off the beta blocker, but I have had lingering anxiety attacks, which suck, given that I sometimes have trouble figuring out if I just need to calm down or if I need to get my heart checked out. Most of the time, I know what is up. At any rate, going through the anxiety, depression, illness and court was horrible. In the end, it turned out all right. I still talk to my ex-husband and see my stepson quite often lately. I still have anxiety, but I live with it. You can too. Exercise seriously helps a lot. Go for a very long walk, run, ride a bike . . .
I dealt with a very long custody battle for my stepson. I will not get into details, as I have a strong policy against publicly insulting his biological mother and it really is his business why we had to get custody, so I like to keep his business private. At any rate, I know exactly how you feel. During one stretch of the custody battle, which usually went well for us, but was still nerve-wracking, I caught a gastrointestinal virus that had me floored for months. It eventually settled in my heart, leaving me with arrhythmia. (I've told this story here, but it belongs in this thread, really.) In the meantime, I was given a beta blocker. The beta blocker made me want to die. I was so depressed on top of being sick that I was just done with life. I was taken off the beta blocker, but I have had lingering anxiety attacks, which suck, given that I sometimes have trouble figuring out if I just need to calm down or if I need to get my heart checked out. Most of the time, I know what is up. At any rate, going through the anxiety, depression, illness and court was horrible. In the end, it turned out all right. I still talk to my ex-husband and see my stepson quite often lately. I still have anxiety, but I live with it. You can too. Exercise seriously helps a lot. Go for a very long walk, run, ride a bike . . .