RE: Anxiety/Depression/Mental Illness Support
January 3, 2012 at 5:23 pm
(This post was last modified: January 3, 2012 at 5:37 pm by Jackalope.)
Shell - thanks for starting this.
One of the things that I have found in my long struggle with mental issues is that oftentimes I feel very, very alone in it and that no one else can possibly understand what it feels like.
The past year has been particularly difficult for me - it feels at times that I just can't get a break. The first part of the year was a struggle against suicidal ideation. I was hospitalized for a while in April and May for my own safety (voluntarily) and after some time, a new outlook on life, and new found enthusiasm for therapy, things were looking up. My physical health took a turn for the worse in October, and I've been off work since.
Being at home sick alone most of the time isn't something that's mentally healthy for me, and I've noticed old thought patterns and behaviors creeping back in. I'm finding myself forgetting important things (did I take my medication today, or didn't I?), my sleep is severely disrupted, my emotions are fragile, and I find myself thinking "those" thoughts again. I don't trust my memory or perceptions - I find myself remembering events that didn't really happen, and forgetting some that did.
I agree with Cinjin - sometimes I think it would be better to be blissfully ignorant.
That's the voice of self-judgement, and it is not your friend.
Once a person reaches a point to where they are thinking about methods, timelines, and making plans, they've crossed over to where it has become a mental health emergency and should be treated as such.
I agree, I don't think passing thoughts are usually much to be concerned about. In my view, it is not even so much the thoughts of suicide per se that are the problem - it is the inability to see other solutions to the problem.
I go through cycles where suicide is only a passing thought, and I recognize it for what it is, and can eliminate suicide as a viable option quickly. On the other end of the spectrum, there are times when the thought consumes me. It's not just an option, it's a inevitable certainty, or as I said to my therapist on one such occasion, "I know how this story ends."
One of the things that I have found in my long struggle with mental issues is that oftentimes I feel very, very alone in it and that no one else can possibly understand what it feels like.
The past year has been particularly difficult for me - it feels at times that I just can't get a break. The first part of the year was a struggle against suicidal ideation. I was hospitalized for a while in April and May for my own safety (voluntarily) and after some time, a new outlook on life, and new found enthusiasm for therapy, things were looking up. My physical health took a turn for the worse in October, and I've been off work since.
Being at home sick alone most of the time isn't something that's mentally healthy for me, and I've noticed old thought patterns and behaviors creeping back in. I'm finding myself forgetting important things (did I take my medication today, or didn't I?), my sleep is severely disrupted, my emotions are fragile, and I find myself thinking "those" thoughts again. I don't trust my memory or perceptions - I find myself remembering events that didn't really happen, and forgetting some that did.
I agree with Cinjin - sometimes I think it would be better to be blissfully ignorant.
(January 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm)Faith No More Wrote:(January 3, 2012 at 4:30 pm)Shell B Wrote: That's the point of this thread, dude. You're allowed to whine.
I know, but there's still a nagging voice in the back of my head that says, "suck it up pussy!"
That's the voice of self-judgement, and it is not your friend.
(January 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm)Shell B Wrote: Contemplation. Too often thoughts are considered mental illness. Thoughts that become obsessive or damaging to the person's life are potentially mental illness. Passing thoughts typically are not.
Once a person reaches a point to where they are thinking about methods, timelines, and making plans, they've crossed over to where it has become a mental health emergency and should be treated as such.
I agree, I don't think passing thoughts are usually much to be concerned about. In my view, it is not even so much the thoughts of suicide per se that are the problem - it is the inability to see other solutions to the problem.
I go through cycles where suicide is only a passing thought, and I recognize it for what it is, and can eliminate suicide as a viable option quickly. On the other end of the spectrum, there are times when the thought consumes me. It's not just an option, it's a inevitable certainty, or as I said to my therapist on one such occasion, "I know how this story ends."
