Pretend to want to be interested in her religion, and start reading the bible out loud to her. Do it for the "the spiritual nourishment" of you both. Start at the beginning, and show how morally offended you are by... well.. the parts that are fucking sick. The bible is full of them, and ask her if she thinks that's offensive too. This will start a discussion between the two of you that could make or break the relationship. Having an open dialogue, and not holding back on expressing your feelings about her belief system is vital.
This is psychology, my friend, and although it might seem a bit underhanded, by doing this you'll learn a couple of things, at least.
- The condition of her moral compass. How broken or intact.
- The severity of her indoctrination.
If she doesn't find anything wrong with the more fucked up verses of the bible, she's either defending it out of pride (which means she's going to be nearly impossible to break), or defending it because she is terrified to not defend the word of god (which means she's completely brainwashed, and nearly impossible to break). If she agrees that there is something fucked up about what you're reading her, discuss it with her and be sensitive to her emotions at that time, because it's hard to learn that the god you've loved all of your life has always been an asshole.
I know you love her, but she sounds like she's pretty stuck on some very conservative values that have nothing to do with reality. You say you don't want her to deconvert, but if you stay with her, do you really want her inflicting these same values upon the impressionable minds of your hypothetical future children? I wish I had thought about that before having my kids with their christian father. I am glad I have my kids, and wouldn't trade them for the world, but it's been a struggle to protect them from indoctrination, If I had been their father, and he, their mother, it wouldn't have happened. They'd be singing "Jesus loves me" right now. Mothers have more pull, you see.
I suppose it can work if you just say nothing, and do nothing to change her mind, or at least lighten up a little; but there will be sacrifices that you will have to make, and you could both end up resenting each other. If she is too far gone, then the loving thing to do would be to let her go. Your values will never be compatible, and it absolutely will cause a major strain on the relationship, ever increasing with the passage of time, and before it's over with- I promise, one of you will despise the other, and a lot of years will be poured down the drain. Small beans to her, considering she believes that she'll live again in paradise when she dies, but if you're an atheist, you probably don't believe that, and know this is the only life you're going to get.
If you can't deconvert her, let her go so she can find a man whose values better match her own, and likewise. This is just some advice from someone who has been through it. Obviously, it works for Rhythm, but his wife sounds a bit more liberal, making it easier for him to coexist with her as a partner.
This is psychology, my friend, and although it might seem a bit underhanded, by doing this you'll learn a couple of things, at least.
- The condition of her moral compass. How broken or intact.
- The severity of her indoctrination.
If she doesn't find anything wrong with the more fucked up verses of the bible, she's either defending it out of pride (which means she's going to be nearly impossible to break), or defending it because she is terrified to not defend the word of god (which means she's completely brainwashed, and nearly impossible to break). If she agrees that there is something fucked up about what you're reading her, discuss it with her and be sensitive to her emotions at that time, because it's hard to learn that the god you've loved all of your life has always been an asshole.
I know you love her, but she sounds like she's pretty stuck on some very conservative values that have nothing to do with reality. You say you don't want her to deconvert, but if you stay with her, do you really want her inflicting these same values upon the impressionable minds of your hypothetical future children? I wish I had thought about that before having my kids with their christian father. I am glad I have my kids, and wouldn't trade them for the world, but it's been a struggle to protect them from indoctrination, If I had been their father, and he, their mother, it wouldn't have happened. They'd be singing "Jesus loves me" right now. Mothers have more pull, you see.
I suppose it can work if you just say nothing, and do nothing to change her mind, or at least lighten up a little; but there will be sacrifices that you will have to make, and you could both end up resenting each other. If she is too far gone, then the loving thing to do would be to let her go. Your values will never be compatible, and it absolutely will cause a major strain on the relationship, ever increasing with the passage of time, and before it's over with- I promise, one of you will despise the other, and a lot of years will be poured down the drain. Small beans to her, considering she believes that she'll live again in paradise when she dies, but if you're an atheist, you probably don't believe that, and know this is the only life you're going to get.
If you can't deconvert her, let her go so she can find a man whose values better match her own, and likewise. This is just some advice from someone who has been through it. Obviously, it works for Rhythm, but his wife sounds a bit more liberal, making it easier for him to coexist with her as a partner.
42
