You're stating, in the 3 examples that you give, that all theists share the responsibility when something bad is done. But you're not justifying that statement. The only thing you've mentioned is when theists remain silent. But why focus on silent theists? What about those who are not silent? And what about silent atheists? You're painting too simplistic a picture.
How do you square the idea that all theists share responsibility for bad things being done in the name of the religion with my wife being a good person, or indeed many theists being good people? What exactly do you want my wife, or any theist, to do about bad things being done in order for them to not share responsibility? I'd say there's nothing for them to do. You're making an issue out of something that is not an issue.
Do you think I'm not as appalled as anyone else when I hear about someone in a religion doing something stupid in its name? Of course I am. But blaming everyone else in that religion isn't the answer. Imagine if you were in a room amongst some religious people and you were all talking about how so and so did something bad in the name of their religion. You would most likely hear them all condemning it. Would you then turn around and say "Oh, and by the way, it's all partly your fault?"
How do you square the idea that all theists share responsibility for bad things being done in the name of the religion with my wife being a good person, or indeed many theists being good people? What exactly do you want my wife, or any theist, to do about bad things being done in order for them to not share responsibility? I'd say there's nothing for them to do. You're making an issue out of something that is not an issue.
Do you think I'm not as appalled as anyone else when I hear about someone in a religion doing something stupid in its name? Of course I am. But blaming everyone else in that religion isn't the answer. Imagine if you were in a room amongst some religious people and you were all talking about how so and so did something bad in the name of their religion. You would most likely hear them all condemning it. Would you then turn around and say "Oh, and by the way, it's all partly your fault?"