I'm not sure why I've decided to share this or what I want to get out of sharing this. Over the past day or so I've just been over thinking this whole business of religion and where I've decided to head from now on. It just hit me again that I'm not a theist anymore.. and it still feels strange at times.
Anyways, this is my story of when I considered myself reborn. Except there's a twist at the end and I wanted to see if there was a theological explanation for this. Here we go:
This girl at church. She was the first girl I ever liked because she inspired me to want to grow closer to God. I saw her as the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with because as I grew closer and closer to her I knew I would grow closer and closer to God. The only problem there was though was that I was still somewhat shaky on a few things concerning the Bible. I knew I needed to set things straight with God even before I could consider getting into a relationship, as I needed a strong foundation so that our relationship could be guided by God.
The missions trip we were going on was coming up soon. My prayer for that trip was for me to experience something absolutely life changing. Not something temporary like 'oh look at these poor people' type thing that fades away after some time, but something that would change me forever. I was praying that I could have an encounter with God and be reborn again. Not only that, but I told God I was putting Him before this girl I liked i.e. I was willing to sacrifice my desires for His desires.
We got to Thailand and the first thing I notice when we got out of the airport was a very familiar atmosphere about the whole place. It was the tropical equivalent of my birth country, Chile, but somewhat worse off. I had seen it all before! I was thinking to myself 'how am I meant to have a life changing experience if there's nothing that will break my heart'?
Long story short, on the 3rd night I was discussing some Bible with my room-mate. I forgot what verses exactly, but we were talking about the nature of God but more specifically some things I didn't quite understand. The more we talked about it, the more I understood His love. There came a point where I couldn't hold it any longer and I started weeping. I couldn't stop weeping for the next 30 minutes.. I was overwhelmed by His love. This is the encounter I had prayed for.
The next few days of the trip I realised I started to grow closer to the girl I liked. I saw this as a sign from God that I was going to get rewarded for focusing on Him instead of a girl. She would be somewhat flirty at times with me which was very unusual of her, because she gets quite some attention at church so she is quite distant from guys most of the time. I knew my prayers were getting answered and this only boosted my faith. It seemed like I was going to marry 'the one' for me after all.
The last two days of the trip we spent in Phuket as a way to wind down after all we experienced. We had a great time doing typical tourist stuff. I was thinking about all that had happened to me spiritually during the trip. I decided I should have a talk to her about what's been happening and what I thought God had planned for me.. and her. So that night we were all hanging out on top of the hotel looking over the city. It was getting late and people were heading to their rooms one by one. I told myself that if her and myself were the last ones left then I would share with her what God was doing in my life. My heart started racing once the last person left and we were alone.
I told her exactly how things happened and the reason why my prayer of being reborn was answered. This was it, God was going to unite us after all the waiting I had been doing. So I asked her in the end what she thought. She smiled, and said 'That's really awesome. But my time hasn't come yet. I'm only 19. Don't worry though, she's out there.'
God indeed works in mysterious ways. Or like all things that go wrong, should I blame myself instead of Him?
Anyways, this is my story of when I considered myself reborn. Except there's a twist at the end and I wanted to see if there was a theological explanation for this. Here we go:
This girl at church. She was the first girl I ever liked because she inspired me to want to grow closer to God. I saw her as the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with because as I grew closer and closer to her I knew I would grow closer and closer to God. The only problem there was though was that I was still somewhat shaky on a few things concerning the Bible. I knew I needed to set things straight with God even before I could consider getting into a relationship, as I needed a strong foundation so that our relationship could be guided by God.
The missions trip we were going on was coming up soon. My prayer for that trip was for me to experience something absolutely life changing. Not something temporary like 'oh look at these poor people' type thing that fades away after some time, but something that would change me forever. I was praying that I could have an encounter with God and be reborn again. Not only that, but I told God I was putting Him before this girl I liked i.e. I was willing to sacrifice my desires for His desires.
We got to Thailand and the first thing I notice when we got out of the airport was a very familiar atmosphere about the whole place. It was the tropical equivalent of my birth country, Chile, but somewhat worse off. I had seen it all before! I was thinking to myself 'how am I meant to have a life changing experience if there's nothing that will break my heart'?
Long story short, on the 3rd night I was discussing some Bible with my room-mate. I forgot what verses exactly, but we were talking about the nature of God but more specifically some things I didn't quite understand. The more we talked about it, the more I understood His love. There came a point where I couldn't hold it any longer and I started weeping. I couldn't stop weeping for the next 30 minutes.. I was overwhelmed by His love. This is the encounter I had prayed for.
The next few days of the trip I realised I started to grow closer to the girl I liked. I saw this as a sign from God that I was going to get rewarded for focusing on Him instead of a girl. She would be somewhat flirty at times with me which was very unusual of her, because she gets quite some attention at church so she is quite distant from guys most of the time. I knew my prayers were getting answered and this only boosted my faith. It seemed like I was going to marry 'the one' for me after all.
The last two days of the trip we spent in Phuket as a way to wind down after all we experienced. We had a great time doing typical tourist stuff. I was thinking about all that had happened to me spiritually during the trip. I decided I should have a talk to her about what's been happening and what I thought God had planned for me.. and her. So that night we were all hanging out on top of the hotel looking over the city. It was getting late and people were heading to their rooms one by one. I told myself that if her and myself were the last ones left then I would share with her what God was doing in my life. My heart started racing once the last person left and we were alone.
I told her exactly how things happened and the reason why my prayer of being reborn was answered. This was it, God was going to unite us after all the waiting I had been doing. So I asked her in the end what she thought. She smiled, and said 'That's really awesome. But my time hasn't come yet. I'm only 19. Don't worry though, she's out there.'
God indeed works in mysterious ways. Or like all things that go wrong, should I blame myself instead of Him?
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
