(May 20, 2012 at 10:28 pm)Rhizomorph13 Wrote: I was diagnosed with schizophrenia but it was during a psychotic break from reality brought on by excessive drug use and emotional upheaval. I've taken some online tests and researched the disorder and I think I have always suffered from it a little although I've only ever been hebephrenic a few times and catatonic once during my two week stay in a psych ward. Since I've been atheist I don't hear voices, but I still suffer from some very weird thoughts; I just don't attribute them to aliens, pets, psychic links, god, blah blah ya know all the stuff that can go can-caning through the mind of credulous person.
Yeah I had multiple personalities at once point but to the extreme confusion of most psychologists and psychiatrists I spoke to, I never genuinely displayed the other "personalities" as if they were me. To clarify, I was self-aware during instances where I would 'switch.' It is a highly unpleasant sensation; like someone is playing your body and mind like it's just a puppet, while you're left out of control. This is opposed to genuinely believing you are someone else as most people with MPD do. I ended up taking a medication that was basically a targeted neurotoxin; killed the faulty synaptic connections, I think was the explanation. Basically induces very very minor brain damage, but since what it affects are sections already compromised and irreparable anyway, nothing is really lost. For clarity and control, you have no idea what I would have sacrificed, so that was a minor trade, indeed.
I used to have catatonic schizophrenia constantly. I wouldn't even be aware it happened. I would apparently just cease talking, and would run on an autopilot, completely ignoring everything everyone said to me or even did to me unless it was an act of aggression which triggered an aggressive response. I wouldn't remember any of it. It seems it was induced by chemical imbalances due to, like what you had, drug abuse, once I ceased that, and underwent therapy and some pharmaceutical regimens it largely stopped. Had it happen only once recently and it wasn't exactly a full-blown attack. I was half-aware, but seemed to just...not be able to care, and I was reacting strangely and saying strange things. Hopefully, it's just an isolated case but if it happens again I'll have to go and talk to a psych again. I seem to have issues with anxiety but it's small potatoes to everything else and truth be told, with my income at a firm 0 right now I can't really afford to get it treated.
