I haven't really been myself lately.
From all external appearances, I've been doing pretty well. It's no secret here that I suffer from bipolar disorder (manic depression) - that's been under control for the better part of six months. Less known is that I also suffer post-traumatic stress. That's not something I care to speak much of publicly, as the causes of that are both very personal and very painful. That too has been fairly quiet lately, for which I am extremely grateful.
There's a third piece to my mental health puzzle that I don't think I've shared before - Depersonalization disorder - which is thought to be strongly related to post-traumatic stress in my case. (While DD is considered a dissociative spectrum disorder, it is distinctly different from Dissociative Identity Disorder, a.k.a multiple personality disorder).
Unfortunately, right now, I am unable to relate what it is that I'm feeling.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder
From all external appearances, I've been doing pretty well. It's no secret here that I suffer from bipolar disorder (manic depression) - that's been under control for the better part of six months. Less known is that I also suffer post-traumatic stress. That's not something I care to speak much of publicly, as the causes of that are both very personal and very painful. That too has been fairly quiet lately, for which I am extremely grateful.
There's a third piece to my mental health puzzle that I don't think I've shared before - Depersonalization disorder - which is thought to be strongly related to post-traumatic stress in my case. (While DD is considered a dissociative spectrum disorder, it is distinctly different from Dissociative Identity Disorder, a.k.a multiple personality disorder).
Unfortunately, right now, I am unable to relate what it is that I'm feeling.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder
Excerpt from Wikipedia Wrote:[...] As the core symptoms of the disorder are thought to protect the victim from negative stimuli, depersonalization disorder can be conceptualized as a defense mechanism.
Depersonalization as a symptom is an anomaly of self-awareness and sufferers can feel divorced from their own personal physicality by sensing their body's sensations, feelings, emotions and behaviors as not belonging to the same person or identity. Also, a recognition of self breaks down (hence the name), resulting in a loss of conviction with one's identity and a sense that it "slips away". Depersonalization can result in very high anxiety levels, which can intensify these perceptions even further. Often individuals find it hard to remember anything they saw, thought or experienced during this dissociative period, which can last from minutes to years (as well as vary in intensity).
Although the disorder is an alteration in the subjective experience of reality, it is not related to psychosis, [...] sufferers are able to distinguish between reality and fantasy, and their grasp on reality remains stable at all times.
Common descriptions of symptoms are: feeling disconnected from one's physicality; feeling as though one is not completely occupying the body; not feeling in control of one's speech or physical movements; feeling detached from one's own thoughts or emotions; a sense of automation, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it or participating in it; loss of conviction with one's identity; feeling a disconnection from one's body; inability to accept ones reflection as one's own; difficulty relating oneself to reality and the environment; feeling as though one is in a dream; and even out-of-body experiences'. Individuals with the disorder commonly describe a feeling as though time is 'passing' them by and they are not in the notion of the present.
Fears of going crazy, losing control and losing one's identity (letting it "slip away") are common complaints. Individuals report occupational impairments as they feel they are working below their ability, impeded from participating and engaging with their external surroundings, as well as interpersonal troubles since they have an emotional disconnection from those they care about. [...]
[...] Depersonalization disorder is thought to be largely caused by severe traumatic lifetime events including childhood abuse, accidents, war, torture, panic attacks and bad drug experiences. [...]
