I was raised catholic. It wasn't a terribly strict upbringing (I went to public school despite my father's catholic school being around the corner, and church wasn't always a weekly event) but being catholic was still an important part of our daily lives. That being said, I never felt like I belonged. There was never a feeling of genuinely being close to God, and I could never fully buy into the gospel stories. I always felt like there was something I wasn't being told about the whole thing.
Like every other kids I knew, I was dragged to ccd classes once a week, sent to my first confession- another story for another day, sent up the Isle on communion day (the photos are hilarious) and voila! I was officially a born and bred catholic! Only, I still didn't feel anything. By the time I hit my teens, I tried desperately to make myself into something I wasn't- i insisted on going to church every day, and I even prayed multiple times a day, but I never felt like it changed anything. At about 15, I began stepping back and reconsidering everything right around the same time I was expected to make confirmation.
For those of you unfamiliar with the confirmation procedure, you choose a name and stand up in front of everyone to announce that you believe in the teaching of the church. I tried to postponed it in the hopes of getting the answers I wanted, but was told in no uncertain terms that I was going to make this public commitment whether I agreed to it or not because I was born catholic and had "no other choice". After that, I began really re-evaluating what I'd been told and the teachings of the church, and really didn't like what I was finding. In the past six years I've tried to find my own answers and have had a much better time of it.
Like every other kids I knew, I was dragged to ccd classes once a week, sent to my first confession- another story for another day, sent up the Isle on communion day (the photos are hilarious) and voila! I was officially a born and bred catholic! Only, I still didn't feel anything. By the time I hit my teens, I tried desperately to make myself into something I wasn't- i insisted on going to church every day, and I even prayed multiple times a day, but I never felt like it changed anything. At about 15, I began stepping back and reconsidering everything right around the same time I was expected to make confirmation.
For those of you unfamiliar with the confirmation procedure, you choose a name and stand up in front of everyone to announce that you believe in the teaching of the church. I tried to postponed it in the hopes of getting the answers I wanted, but was told in no uncertain terms that I was going to make this public commitment whether I agreed to it or not because I was born catholic and had "no other choice". After that, I began really re-evaluating what I'd been told and the teachings of the church, and really didn't like what I was finding. In the past six years I've tried to find my own answers and have had a much better time of it.
