I understand Chad, at times we think with our emotions, that's why I left for a while, need to regroup and find myself as a Christian. It's good you jumped on things early, to often we let these things burn away and lead to a situation that turns out worse. Love through Christ.
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.