RE: WTF Bible
September 14, 2013 at 8:28 am
(This post was last modified: September 14, 2013 at 8:52 am by Jiggerj.)
And Lot saw how the perverts of Sodom lusted after his visitors. So, he said to this horny crowd something along the lines of, "If you don't molest these angels that have come here with the word and the power and the glory of god, I'll let you gangbang my daughters.' What a righteous man.
And then he got drunk and banged them himself. Oh wait, even today in the Middle East such a sin would be blamed on the daughters. My bad!
During the time of the crucifixion all the dead saints rose from their graves and roamed the city. The only contradiction here is that it contradicts logic and reason.
And, oh yeah, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
Genesis 1: 27-30: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
--------------------------------
So, this eternal god looks just like us. Why does he need a nose to breathe, or a mouth and a stomach to eat with? Could he starve to death? Does he have a colon and a penis to poop and pee with? Come with us now as we go in search of logic in the bible.
And then he got drunk and banged them himself. Oh wait, even today in the Middle East such a sin would be blamed on the daughters. My bad!
During the time of the crucifixion all the dead saints rose from their graves and roamed the city. The only contradiction here is that it contradicts logic and reason.
And, oh yeah, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
Genesis 1: 27-30: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
--------------------------------
So, this eternal god looks just like us. Why does he need a nose to breathe, or a mouth and a stomach to eat with? Could he starve to death? Does he have a colon and a penis to poop and pee with? Come with us now as we go in search of logic in the bible.
There is an ALLLL-knowing, ALLLL-powerful, inVISible being who is everywhere, who created the WHOLE universe, who lives in another dimension called heaven, who is perfect in every way, who was never born and will never die, and who watches you every minute of every day (even when you're squeezing one out on the toilet). There are also unicorns, leprechauns, Santa Claus, an Easter Bunny, and a giant purple people eater.
JUST BELIEVE IT!
JUST BELIEVE IT!
