RE: To what extent is a rape victim responsible for the crime?
September 26, 2013 at 3:16 pm
(This post was last modified: September 26, 2013 at 3:17 pm by Creed of Heresy.)
Well, as someone who deals with rape victims on a pretty constant basis, I can pretty much assure virtually anyone that few indeed are the times wherein a woman would call rape to get back at a guy. I mean, yes, there ARE sociopaths out there and they do not heed the gender divide, and unfortunately it's rather hard to determine when someone is telling the absolute truth in a rape trial. But that's exceptionally rare. Given the extent of trauma I've seen, and worse, given the horribly low rate of rapes being reported, I am less concerned with the possibility of falsehood, and far more concerned with getting people who have been raped to seek justice.
The problem is, in order to see someone brought to justice for their crime, it requires the victim facing the offender. Most of the time they're in such a state of trauma, and the experience so damn horrible for them (extremes of pain, helplessness, terror, unwarranted guilt [brought on by the disgusting diatribe spewed by evangelists, muslims, and the ignorance of our stupidly conservative society], and complete subversion of their will to another who holds the victim's life in their hands as they ruthlessly assault their bodies in the most invasive way imaginable all leads to an intense longing to "just move past it." It's like wanting to slap a band-aid on a bullet wound instead of seeking actual medical treatment because of the knowledge that the treatment will hurt even more for a short time. Already in a state of pain, it's understandable to not want to bring more on, but it's not something that goes away, it's not something that can just be forgotten and ignored and left untreated.
So often do I find myself struggling against what the perceptions and bias of society has wrought. Girls terrified of facing their rapist because they think that, since society seems so "you were begging for it with the way you dress, you slut" in attitude [You try telling me the media hasn't all but indoctrinated the belief that such tripe is true. Go on, try to tell me with conviction and honesty. See if you can] that they will have to face their rapist, which will force them to remember the experience all over again, and that the court will side not with them, but with their assailant [which happens all too often; forget what you think about courts just going "SHE SAID HE RAPED HER, YUP, HE SURE DID!" It doesn't happen like that], making the entire experience not worth it and worse, reminding them, falsely, that it was their fault, that they deserved it.
Guys completely horrified at the idea of being socially emasculated ("men can't be raped! We have sex drives and women don't! We pursue it, and women don't! We're stronger! We're bigger! Wait, you got overpowered by a woman? And you didn't want it?! LOL, you're a fucking weak shit and a faggot, dude, get the fuck over it!"), trying to hide their pain through bravado and stoicism, too mindlessly indoctrinated with the stupidity of the masculine-bravado bullshit with its deep-set roots, ironically, through the misogyny of the past and the misandry of the present ("All men are potential rapists! " tends to lead many men to believe that they couldn't have been raped, it's not possible for the "only gender capable of rape" to be raped after all...and the low reported incidence of men being raped does not help this mindset at all...), and the fucking stupidly pervasive media (and overly-feminist)-fueled idea that all men want is sex. And all men want sex. Women do not. Men do. Men must pursue it. Women never do. Ergo men cannot be raped by women. This logic is just...it's just, it's NOT. OK? It's just...it's not. It's not, and it isn't. This doesn't even factor in the just-as-if-not-more painful idea of admitting it when another man raped them. "LOL HE MADE YOU HIS BITCH, YOU TOOK IT TOO, YOU WEAK LITTLE FAGGOT! Man you're a pussy!" Another mentality, deeply engrained through stupid, culture-fed and media-fueled ideas of masculine bravado and strength and dominance and your status being so damn important. The idea of having to admit it, in a court-room full of people, that another guy made you his bitch and you were utterly helpless and powerless... Not to mention how widely-accepted it is that rape happens in prison between men all the time. "Ha ha, it's funny!" Right, it's hilarious when a guy goes to prison for smoking or selling weed and gets gangraped by the white-supremacist brotherhood. Cuz that's justified, he totally deserved it, right? It all leads up to this idea that it's just not even worth it. You CAN'T go to court about it. You have no case. You're a man. Men cannot be raped. No matter how false a statement this is...it's still just what society thinks ever so broadly.
The occasional times I've had guys come into the RCC, it's mostly been young males. Teenagers. Sometimes it's small boys who call us about this. Either instance, we are required by law to inform the police (given the status of being a minor; they cannot make the decision for themselves, ergo it is our responsibility to inform the authorities). The look on their face differs from the looks on the women. The women are horrified, disgusted with themselves, despondent, weak, and vulnerable. The men are defeated. They look completely broken. Everything they've been told is a lie. They've had the experience happen, something that supposedly cannot happen, or something they have to "just deal with" turns out to be something they cannot deal with. The most common males to come in or call in are teenagers. Oftentimes, it's the outcasts, the unpopular ones, assaulted by the bigger, more popular apes who can't help but love to beat their chests and show others who has the biggest banana. Football players tend to be the most common assailants, though not exclusively so. The younger kids...boys or girls...
...If I wasn't an atheist before I started volunteering, I sure as fuck would've become on through this. You hear about kids...children, who should be learning their arithmetic and spelling, whose thoughts should be more about after-school sports and video games and cartoons...going through...that... And then the memories that come drifting up into my mind. Things I would rather just...move on, to get over, and forget about.
The idea that a rape-victim of any gender or age might have any shred of responsibility is completely and utterly alien. It simply does not compute. It is an abstract of non-logic so bizarre and unreasonable that the fundamental elements of the very idea just are not capable of being processed or understood in any form or extent.
The problem is, in order to see someone brought to justice for their crime, it requires the victim facing the offender. Most of the time they're in such a state of trauma, and the experience so damn horrible for them (extremes of pain, helplessness, terror, unwarranted guilt [brought on by the disgusting diatribe spewed by evangelists, muslims, and the ignorance of our stupidly conservative society], and complete subversion of their will to another who holds the victim's life in their hands as they ruthlessly assault their bodies in the most invasive way imaginable all leads to an intense longing to "just move past it." It's like wanting to slap a band-aid on a bullet wound instead of seeking actual medical treatment because of the knowledge that the treatment will hurt even more for a short time. Already in a state of pain, it's understandable to not want to bring more on, but it's not something that goes away, it's not something that can just be forgotten and ignored and left untreated.
So often do I find myself struggling against what the perceptions and bias of society has wrought. Girls terrified of facing their rapist because they think that, since society seems so "you were begging for it with the way you dress, you slut" in attitude [You try telling me the media hasn't all but indoctrinated the belief that such tripe is true. Go on, try to tell me with conviction and honesty. See if you can] that they will have to face their rapist, which will force them to remember the experience all over again, and that the court will side not with them, but with their assailant [which happens all too often; forget what you think about courts just going "SHE SAID HE RAPED HER, YUP, HE SURE DID!" It doesn't happen like that], making the entire experience not worth it and worse, reminding them, falsely, that it was their fault, that they deserved it.
Guys completely horrified at the idea of being socially emasculated ("men can't be raped! We have sex drives and women don't! We pursue it, and women don't! We're stronger! We're bigger! Wait, you got overpowered by a woman? And you didn't want it?! LOL, you're a fucking weak shit and a faggot, dude, get the fuck over it!"), trying to hide their pain through bravado and stoicism, too mindlessly indoctrinated with the stupidity of the masculine-bravado bullshit with its deep-set roots, ironically, through the misogyny of the past and the misandry of the present ("All men are potential rapists! " tends to lead many men to believe that they couldn't have been raped, it's not possible for the "only gender capable of rape" to be raped after all...and the low reported incidence of men being raped does not help this mindset at all...), and the fucking stupidly pervasive media (and overly-feminist)-fueled idea that all men want is sex. And all men want sex. Women do not. Men do. Men must pursue it. Women never do. Ergo men cannot be raped by women. This logic is just...it's just, it's NOT. OK? It's just...it's not. It's not, and it isn't. This doesn't even factor in the just-as-if-not-more painful idea of admitting it when another man raped them. "LOL HE MADE YOU HIS BITCH, YOU TOOK IT TOO, YOU WEAK LITTLE FAGGOT! Man you're a pussy!" Another mentality, deeply engrained through stupid, culture-fed and media-fueled ideas of masculine bravado and strength and dominance and your status being so damn important. The idea of having to admit it, in a court-room full of people, that another guy made you his bitch and you were utterly helpless and powerless... Not to mention how widely-accepted it is that rape happens in prison between men all the time. "Ha ha, it's funny!" Right, it's hilarious when a guy goes to prison for smoking or selling weed and gets gangraped by the white-supremacist brotherhood. Cuz that's justified, he totally deserved it, right? It all leads up to this idea that it's just not even worth it. You CAN'T go to court about it. You have no case. You're a man. Men cannot be raped. No matter how false a statement this is...it's still just what society thinks ever so broadly.
The occasional times I've had guys come into the RCC, it's mostly been young males. Teenagers. Sometimes it's small boys who call us about this. Either instance, we are required by law to inform the police (given the status of being a minor; they cannot make the decision for themselves, ergo it is our responsibility to inform the authorities). The look on their face differs from the looks on the women. The women are horrified, disgusted with themselves, despondent, weak, and vulnerable. The men are defeated. They look completely broken. Everything they've been told is a lie. They've had the experience happen, something that supposedly cannot happen, or something they have to "just deal with" turns out to be something they cannot deal with. The most common males to come in or call in are teenagers. Oftentimes, it's the outcasts, the unpopular ones, assaulted by the bigger, more popular apes who can't help but love to beat their chests and show others who has the biggest banana. Football players tend to be the most common assailants, though not exclusively so. The younger kids...boys or girls...
...If I wasn't an atheist before I started volunteering, I sure as fuck would've become on through this. You hear about kids...children, who should be learning their arithmetic and spelling, whose thoughts should be more about after-school sports and video games and cartoons...going through...that... And then the memories that come drifting up into my mind. Things I would rather just...move on, to get over, and forget about.
The idea that a rape-victim of any gender or age might have any shred of responsibility is completely and utterly alien. It simply does not compute. It is an abstract of non-logic so bizarre and unreasonable that the fundamental elements of the very idea just are not capable of being processed or understood in any form or extent.
