(October 2, 2013 at 11:58 pm)Sakumofo Wrote: Im probably one of the .01% of females that is stuck in here. Im kind of used to unrequited love though. For the past two and a half years I wasted time wishing for my math teacher, and as bad as that was I always knew nothing would come out of it.
Now that Ive moved on I like one of my guy friends. I seriously doubt he'd ever go out with me. I thought we could be together even though he's younger, but his dad is the schools psychology teacher. My other friend told me his dad doesnt like interracial couples. -_-
I was afraid he would share his dad's beliefs, but finally decided to just go for it and ask him to homecoming. Well he said no because hes going to a holloween amusement park that weekend. He said he would've gone with me if he was staying here that weekend. As happy as that makes me, I still doubt he sees me as anything other then a friend. Especially since hes just a nice person to everyone.
But I'm done ranting, anyone else, male or female, going through the same thing. I just want to know how you guys deal with it.
I like to think how our relationship can never end because it never started.... then I feel bad.
I can identify. Especially when I was a teen in high school. Dorky and awkward looking and low self esteem at the time. I really and STUPIDLY thought pining after women from a distance or throwing myself at them would "show" them my "love". I know now that was my hormones, not love.
You cant dwell in the shadows and never take risks as far as making a first move. Life for most people involves multiple attempts and failure. I only had 3 serious relationships that all ended and a marriage that ended as well.
But I did enjoy them for the time I had them and if I had never taken the risk of asking them out, that would have been 3 relationships I never would have had.
You cant fear rejection otherwise you will be paralyzed with fear and that simply is not healthy.
I also don't think it is healthy to simply want a relationship just to have one. Lots of people get involved in unhealthy relationships that end up abusive physically or even merely mentally. And break ups can be childishly jealous and even bitter to the point of "getting even" in courts or holding child custody hostage as an issue.
There is no "script" or "utopia" relationship, nor even when you get into one should you merely stay in it for emotional reasons.
Don't seek a relationship merely based on want, or physical attraction. Relationships are work and love is more than desire and deeper than physical attraction. And even initial "like minded" attraction isn't always the lynchpin to long term relationships. Sometimes people click at first then over time find that they were not as on the "same page" or even grow apart through no fault of either party.
You also have to know yourself and most importantly be yourself. You don't have to give up your autonomy (right to be yourself).
You also have to let go when you do get into a relationship when you know it is not working out.
I'd say with the way you put this paragraph, my best advice for you would be to work on you being happy first, before you seek someone else. And if you do ask someone else out, and they reject you, it isn't you personally, that is simply the way life works.
