(November 1, 2013 at 1:16 am)Lemonvariable72 Wrote:(November 1, 2013 at 12:49 am)Cinjin Wrote: It's an interesting take on Lucifer, but I feel like you're trying to put way too much information into a few small paragraphs. I do think you're onto something with the garden pre-quel angle. That was fun. It makes me want to see less dialogue from the Devil and instead put that information into a back story. That would keep the Devil dead-sexy and far more mysterious and dark. You always want to keep your hero ... dare I say it ... fuckable.
I wasn't thinking of playing the mysterious angle, great idea!
Perhaps mysterious is the wrong word. It just seems that the devil should have a confident cool, and if he's explaining everything he's doing it seems to me he loses a lot of that. Just my humble opinion.