why did you become a christian?

[Bob Kelso]

*Parody*

I was working on a fishing troller and trolling was all I ever knew. I didn't really know god at the time, but friends said I was a jerk and that I needed god. I was never very excited by what the bible said, and I thought christians were stupid for not realizing that the bible could be read however you like, and that you could rearrange events and times to actually write your own version of a personal and unique god account. Once I learned that, and that if spelled vertically, god's name could also mean whatever I wanted, I had no choice, and so I sold out and branded my own religion. Now, I can do whatever I want, whenever I please. My version of god allows me to rant and carry on in which ever manner I deem accords with my ever-changing brand of god. The best thing is my new flexible religion allows me to continue what I once loved doing so much, and I can continue trolling to my heart's delight. Ahhh the blissful ignorance.

Meow, blub blub.