We are doomed to burn in a lake of fire for all eternity if we don't accept Jesus into our heart because man ate an apple (or whatever the hell they're calling it now) from a tree that was only there because God put it there and tempted man to begin with, and then proceeded to martyr his son (which is also himself, somehow) so that we may have an out which we wouldn't need had God not put said tree in said garden for man to be tempted to eat in the first place.
That's my main beef.
That's my main beef.