Feminism is as Awful as Homophobia

[Psykhronic]

You can mislabel it as judgmental behavior or segregation if you want. I certainly don't give a shit enough about what you think to dispel that false notion.

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I think it's fair, for the sake of this discussion, to split feminism into two groups: IRL feminists and internet feminists. IRL feminists are generally pretty cool. They're the ones like Wendy Davis who spent all day on her feet, filibustering to preserve abortion rights in Texas. They're people like the women who are tortured and mutilated in Afghanistan for daring to go to school and still continue to go to school. I'm usually on board with what they want.

Then, we get the internet feminists. You want to see the types I'm talking about, go look through freethoughtblogs and get back to me. Those ones tend to be a mess; judgemental as the fundamentalists they hate (while condemning those fundamentalists for being judgmental), and never making an attempt to communicate with anyone outside their little group.

I think what I would love would be if that second group was more willing to do a little introspective soul searching and try to figure out why so many people hate them. They usually just dismiss any criticisms of them with "they're misogynists and rape supporters and they need to check their ______ privilege." The reality is, there are some very real complaints about those girls and if they would bother to listen to them, they could actually reach out to people instead of being stuck in their little circle-jerk.

I'm also seeing a lot of hostilit from that group, towards anyone who isn't in their clique. Wouldn't it also be nice if they could call out the macro aggressions from within their own ranks as easily and quickly and consitantly as they do the itty bitty little micro-aggressions they do of every day people just living their lives? I mean, there is literally a webpage dedicated to shaming men for sitting with their legs spread apart on the bus; I couldn't make this shit up. I'd post the link if I could. But, it's like, they have a problem with guys sitting with their legs spread apart, often because they have grocerys or bags or something between their legs, yet they're more than willing to look the other way when radical activists send Laci Green death threats; or when they get a guy fired because one of them overheard him talking to someone else and didn't like it; or shutting down an entire speaking event in Toronto. If internet feminists were willing to talk about their own bad behavior half as much as they talk about the piddly shit, I'd take them more seriously.

There's a certain amount of hyperbole going on there, too. Listening to them, I would have been led to believe that nobody is ever going to take a woman seriously when she talks about science. I talk science and people listen because I know what I'm talking about. You'd assume nobody in geek/gamer culture ever wants a girl there but my experience has been that they're usually pretty excited when a girl is there. I would have expected that I couldn't go out after dark without having to be scared every time I hear leaves wrustle, but I go out after dark all the time and I'm rarely scared. I would be led to believe that rape is everywhere, but I also haven't been raped. I would be led to believe that every guy is going to be gross and hit on me with rude, crude come-ons, but it rarely happens (and when it does, I almost always put the guy in his place for it). In short, a lot of what they say always happens to women rarely, if ever, happens to me. I've asked other women and they've told me the same thing: it doesn't happen to them or it's rare when it does happen.

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Oh I agree that, especially on the internet, there are some ridiculous feminists. Those who will call everyone who disagrees with something a misogynist, etc. I do not know how much hyperbole there is, probably because I've seen and heard quite a few things and also would not be able to hold everyone's experience in front of me, but I have also seen a lot of people act quite the opposite of misogynistic and dismissive towards women. And I have also seen men, and other genders for that matter, face gender-specific struggles. I just find a lot of problems are with certain feminists, not so much feminism in itself.

That being said, I don't call myself a feminist. I too prefer the egalitarian title.