Why did God murder children for making fun of a bald guy?

[Jacob(smooth)]

The passage in question only seems absurd if, on the one hand, one lacks the perspicacity to comprehend symbolism in general, and on the other, is disposed to grasp at the most superficial of conceivable interpretations of Biblical narratives. The first is a relatively normal human limitation; the second is a pitiful display of insincerity that is degrading to the human soul, a deviation from the divine norm; for to be untruthful in anything, is to negate one's very being, which is truth itself. Now as regards the passage under consideration, there is, first of all, no absurdity in its anthropmorphic symbolism, which really signifies the theomorphic nature of man. Second, no injustice was committed in killing the mob, for they had declared murderous intentions. Read in context, 'go up' was a call to murder Elisha; 'baldman' signified leprosy, which would have been an incitement to violence. The only absurdity is the atheistic mind which needs to invent absurdities in order to reassure itself that God does not exist, so that it may sin with a clear conscience, and get more and more lost in the illusions of this world; it is absurd because the atheist can at any time transcend the prison walls of his mind and enjoy inner eternal life.

The excessively effuse verbiage and unnecessarily torturous extension of sentence structure may not have delivered the impression of intellectual capacity and veracity of expressive intention which one may suspect the author desired. The adage that "the medium is the message" is not one which bears close examination, the message is the message and the loquacious and needless obfuscation of a simple concept behind pretentious prose does nothing to distract from the core inadequacy of the argument. The hypothesising of the alternative textual meaning in which the author indulges, even if based in sound hermeneutical principles, does nothing to detract from the moral turpitude of the core precept, that is the wanton and needlessly violent slaying of young people when equally effective and less terminal options were readily available. Furthermore the extended meaning which cognitive dissonance demands that he extrapolated to the naked and self evident meaning of the text is inconsistent with the use of language in the passage which clearly states that the youths were mocking elisha, not threatening him..

Or we can talk like normal human beings instead of pretentious pricks who think access to Google thesaurus adds weight to a dodgy argument