I'm too dumb to be an atheist

[Alex K]

You seem to have understood a lot. The way you write betrays a good share of intelligence, despite what you might think, and the questions you still struggle with seem to be the ones where it is least clear what the correct questions even are. I also think the position of natural science is not so much one against god per se, but against the necessity for god. In any case, you're on the path, so just take the time and think everything through at the pace you feel comfortable with. Take bits you don't understand at all as hints where you might be missing some foundations, and read more on that. Maybd it turns out that you don't understand it because noone understands it. Maybe at some point you will decide that theism makes more sense to you, at a later point you might change your mind again. Just keep thinking, reading, asking questions.